Among Other Things
by Tarnished Silver
Summary: SLASH! Don't like it don't read it....also has an mpreg a/l....rated r for later chapters
1. Default Chapter

Aragorn watched silently as Legolas sashayed towards him, brushing his fingers through the thick black hair of his lover. Aragorn reached out and was just about to kiss.  
  
"Aragorn!"  
  
"ARAGORN!"  
  
Aragorn woke with a start and for a moment forgot where he was, before it all came flooding back. He was looking for that stupid fat hobbit Frumpy....no wait or was his name Bozo, who had run away with the ring so he could be with Sam. Hmm..anyway, he had had the most amazing dream. That was when Aragorn saw Legolas looming over him with an amused expression in his eyes. Aragorn felt a jolt pass through him. He had always loved Legolas, from the first day he had laid eyes on the blonde haired beauty. He ran a rough hand through his hair and got to his feet.  
  
"Sorry I slept in, I was having a good dream."  
  
"Yeah, I can tell." Legolas laughed, gesturing to Aragorn's soiled tunic where he had sticky unidentifiably liquid stuck to it. Aragorn flushed and began to wipe himself off, achieving nothing except another dirty hand.  
  
"Here, let me help you." Legolas approached Aragorn with a fresh tunic and helped him take off the first. For the moment that Aragorn was shirtless, Legolas felt his hear quiver. Such a beautiful male body, it was a shame it would be wasted on some ungrateful wretch like Arwen. But shaking such thoughts from his head he quickly focused on helping his friend.  
  
"Thank you Legolas. Where's Gimli?" Aragorn asked hastily trying to change the topic from his little dream. Legolas shrugged and answered,  
  
"He left a little while ago to "clean himself up", which I would presume means he's rolling in dirt somewhere." Aragorn thought about this for a moment, clearly puzzled.  
  
"Why would he want to clean up?"  
  
"Because we're close to Rohan now, and he wants to look good." Legolas said, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.  
  
"What difference does it make that we're going to Rohan?" Aragorn asked, still confused. Legolas sighed, his friend would never learn.  
  
"Some people, namely you....don't care what they look or *smell* like, even if it causes others trauma. However, others take the time for ...erm....refreshing themselves, so they will look the best they can."  
  
"But then why didn't you go to clean yourself up?" Aragorn asked. Legolas smirked, and turned away craning his neck to look for Gimli.  
  
"Because I'm *always* clean."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Honestly Aragorn you are hopeless, now let's go get Gimli, and leave. We're only a few hours trek from Rohan." Legolas said. Aragorn nodded and thought, I'm hopeless alright, hopelessly in love with you.  
  
***Yeah I know....it's the usual...but this story has a TWIST! And it will hopefully come soon. So keep tuned*** 


	2. Lust

"Gimli, would you stop trying to stick your hand down my tunic. It's not like I haven't noticed." Legolas snapped angrily at the dwarf, who had tried unsuccessfully for the 45th time to feel up the beautiful elf.  
  
Aragorn looked back at the two, with a bemused expression and wondered for a moment how Legolas would feel if *he* felt him up. Somehow he knew the reaction wouldn't be the same.  
  
Ever since they had left Rivendale, the two had come closer together and Aragorn felt more and more courage to express his feelings to the elf. Almost as if he knew what Aragorn was thinking, Legolas turned around and winked at Aragorn. The wink did not go unnoticed by Gimli.  
  
"Hey! How come he gets all the love?" whined a disappointed Gimli. Legolas shrugged, and turned back to the dwarf.  
  
"Because he's better looking, and I like him better." The elf answered truthfully. Aragorn felt his heart drop somewhere between his legs, and quickly looked away.  
  
"Ok guys we're at the gates of Rohan. I guess it's time to meet Eowyn and Theoden again. I still can't believe they made us leave and go all the way to Helm's Deep because they wanted us to see if there were enough silk curtains." Aragorn said, grimacing at the memory of the fight he had had with Theoden before he had left.  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Legolas asked, and set off towards the door.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Aragorn, what are you doing here?" Legolas asked curiously as he watched Aragorn slide into his room. Aragorn blushed and looked down at the floor, and mumbled,  
  
"Mmph Shivanna Shey Shoo."  
  
"You want a dog named Sheyshoo?" Legolas asked quizzically. Aragorn blushed even more, and answered more clearly this time.  
  
"I wanted to come see you."  
  
"Oh." Legolas said, not asking any further questions. To tell the truth the elf was quite happy that Aragorn had come.  
  
"So you want to sit down?" Legolas said, after a few moments of awkward silence. Aragorn nodded and sat down quickly on Legolas' bed. Legolas hid a smile, and bit down on the inside of his cheek. He had meant that Aragorn should sit down in one of the chairs, but hey.......if that's what Aragorn wanted....well then by all means.  
  
"So, what did you want?" Legolas asked nonchalantly. Aragorn looked up at the blue eyed elf, for the first time since he had entered the room.  
  
"I wanted to tell you I love you." Legolas looked very taken aback, something he had practised very hard, ever since he had heard Aragorn telling Gandalf that he had a thing for Legolas.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Never mind. Just forget everything I said." Aragorn moved to get up and leave, but was startled to find Legolas standing in front of him to prevent him from moving even an inch.  
  
"Did you really mean what you said?"  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
"Good, cause I've been meaning to give you this." Aragorn looked up at Legolas with a puzzled look in his eyes, and found himself kissing the elf full on the mouth. Aragorn looked at Legolas in shock and grinned back at the smiling elf. This was going to be fun.  
  
***Hmm...for all you kiddies....who shouldn't even be reading this...practise SAFE sex....it's not worth the risk.....well don't forget to review.....I want to know what you guys think and what you want to happen...*** 


	3. Hairy Eowyn

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legolas, though god knows I'd like to. I don't own Aragorn and his chest hair, or Eowyn and her chest hair. Ew who would want to own her? And I'm VERY sorry for the disparaging remarks to Tolkien. He's a genius and I love him, all of this belongs to him.  
  
***Hope you like this next chapter. It's not very long, but I still like it.***  
  
"Mmm, that was nice. I'll never be able to look at your thumb the same way again." Legolas murmured as he snuggled into the crook of Aragorn's arm. It was the fifth time they had met at night, and Legolas never ceased to amaze himself.  
  
"Yeah, well it's a gift." Aragorn said, sticking his chest out a little in pride. Legolas wrinkled his nose, and pushed away from him.  
  
"Aragorn, your chest is so hairy."  
  
"Yeah, I know. It took a lot of work but I got it to be that way." Aragorn beamed in happiness that his love had noticed.  
  
"Ew, you actually *cultivated* the hair?" Legolas asked, and gaped at Aragorn when he nodded.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Makes me look strong and manly like bull." Aragorn grunted. Legolas squealed and jumped out of bed, grabbing his satin robe, and quickly tying it tightly.  
  
"First of all that sentence made no sense. Second, that's disgusting. Third, why on earth would you want to be like a bull?" Legolas cried. Aragorn sighed, and got up, not bothering to cover himself up.  
  
"If it makes you so angry, I'll......shudder.....get rid of it." Aragorn said, putting his arms around Legolas.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really." Here, they began to make out like it was 1999. All of a sudden the door opened, and Legolas turned to see who it was.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY MAN?!" A very angry Eowyn screamed from the doorway. Aragorn gulped, and then realised he wasn't wearing any clothes. He yelped and dove under the duvet for cover. Legolas rolled his eyes and sauntered over to Eowyn.  
  
"What's the matter honey?" Legolas asked in a sickly sweet voice. Eowyn's eyes grew to roughly the size of large dinner plates.  
  
"That's my man! If you are so desperate to get someone, then go screw Gimli. He's not taken." Eowyn cried indignantly. Legolas regarded her coldly for a moment, before calling over his shoulder,  
  
"Aragorn darling, you don't want to be with Eowyn do you?" Aragorn peeked out of the covers for a moment, shook his head violently, and then descended back to his hiding place. Legolas smirked and turned back to Eowyn.  
  
"It doesn't look like he's your man at all. Looks like he's mine, so you better keep away." Legolas said, suggestively fingering an arrow in his hands. Eowyn looked at him in shock for a moment, looked at the pile of blankets which was Aragorn, and then back to Legolas.  
  
"You'll pay for this. I swear! Do you have any idea what kind of men live in Rohan? Haven't you read the books? He's supposed to love me! ME!" She cried. Legolas grinned and pushed her out of the doorway.  
  
"Oh yeah? Well you can tell the author of your so called "book", that he can kiss my ass, cause I just re-wrote the book." And with that said, Legolas promptly slammed the door in Eowyn's shiny and annoying face.  
  
***DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW PPLZ! I'm fuelled on reviews and only write more when I get them.*** 


	4. Chicken Wings and Chocolate

***Well here's the mpreg you guys have been begging for....at last! It's a little different then I originally planned...but my muses.....*glares at muses* have been rather difficult.....Eowyn insists on sleeping near Aragorn, and Aragorn keeps hiding under the bed. And Gimli keeps trying to get it on with Legolas.....so yeah....it's been rather challenging...none the less I hope you like this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the baby, or Aragorn. I don't own Frumpy......or Frodo. I don't own Legolas....dammit. And I don't own Aragorn. However I *do* own Viggo Mortenson...so that is a plus. Call me if you want to come over and pet him sometime. He's very tame.  
  
"No." Aragorn sulked at the table, like a small child. Legolas sighed and tried again to reason with Aragorn.  
  
"But meleth, we have to leave eventually. And we need to find Frodo." Legolas explained patiently.  
  
"Don't wanna find stupid Frumpy." Mumbled Aragorn unhappily. Legolas softened his gaze, and embraced Aragorn.  
  
"I know, but think of it this way. We'll be together, and away from Arwen AND Eowyn." Legolas said enthusiastically. Aragorn brightened up a bit, and sat up a little straighter.  
  
"That would be nice. But they can't reach us then can they?" Aragorn asked, fear creeping into his voice.  
  
"No." Legolas answered protectively. Aragorn nodded happily, then all of a sudden began to sob. Legolas gasped in amazement at this sudden mood swing. ***hint hint***  
  
"What's wrong darling?" Legolas asked.  
  
"I don't know, I'm just really happy." Sniffed Aragorn. Legolas regarded Aragorn wearily, and then nodded.  
  
"Ok, then it's settled, we leave tomorrow morning." Legolas said. Aragorn gestured his approval, and then ran off.  
  
"Where are you going?" Legolas cried. Aragorn looked over his shoulder, and yelled  
  
"To go get some chicken wings and chocolate syrup." Legolas shook his head in disgust, and began to ponder over this sudden change in Aragorn. The mood swings, the cravings, it was almost as if he was-No, it couldn't be. All of a sudden it hit Legolas, and he doubled over in laughter. Aragorn was NOT going to be happy.  
  
***Hmmm...a bit different then my last story....and it's going to continue to be different. Any suggestions or comments would be much appreciated. I don't care how many times you have already reviewed.....keep doing it......PLZ...ok I have to go now...*** 


	5. Whine and Make Up

***I hope you like this chapter.....it's a quick one, and just a building block to the climax.***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I know these are annoying....but I like writing them and they're important. Gimli, Legolas, Aragorn and Frodo do NOT belong to me. However this story does so if you take anything from it or copy it in any way, I'll have to slice off your toes.  
  
"Why can't we sit down?" whined Aragorn for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Legolas gritted his teeth, and held back a very angry Gimli, with one hand. Aragorn had been getting on his nerves ALL day. And that was saying a lot, seeing as they had only left Rohan an hour ago.  
  
"Mela, we only just left." Legolas reasoned. Aragorn pouted, his lower lip protruding adorably.  
  
"But I wanna stop NOW!" Gimli, and Legolas winced.  
  
"Lad, just let the man sit down, and perhaps me and you can......you know get it o-"  
  
"Gimli, you're disgusting, how can you say that in front of the father of my child?" Legolas asked. Gimli shrugged.  
  
"Well fine then, if you don't want to then we don't have to. But can you get lover boy over here to shut up?" Gimli said. Legolas sighed, and turned to Aragorn.  
  
"Ok, we can rest, but only for a moment."  
  
"Thank god. My poor swollen feet." Complained Aragorn. Legolas threw Aragorn a look, that could be interpretated as I-want-to-kill-you-and-I- wish-I-had-used-a-condom.  
  
"Aragorn, your feet don't swell till well into your fifth month of pregnancy. You're only in the first week." Legolas said, his annoyance clear. Aragorn's bottom lip trembled, and he began to bawl.  
  
"YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" he cried. Legolas' felt himself soften and he couldn't stand the amount of heart in his lovers voice.  
  
"I'm sorry Aragorn." Legolas said and attempted to pull Aragorn into a hug. Aragorn, however shook his head violently and pushed him away.  
  
"NO! I hate you! I hate you, the stupid dwarf, and stupid Frumpy. You're all mean and nasty.......and think I'm stupid." Wailed Aragorn as tears streamed down his face. Legolas got to his feet to comfort Aragorn, but Aragorn ran off quickly.  
  
"Gimli, stay here while I go get Aragorn." Legolas commanded. Gimli scowled, and began to rock back and forth, chanting,  
  
"Damn sexy elf. Stupid hormone filled man.....no one lets Gimli get it on. Noooooooo.....that would be *wrong*. Hmmph....stupid Frumpy....at least he let me get it on with him, why did he have to run away?" And here Gimli also began to sob. Legolas rolled his eyes, and ran off swiftly to retrieve Aragorn.  
  
He found Aragorn sitting on a rock by the river, hugging his knees. Legolas' heart went out to his lover, and he regretted the harsh words that had come out of his mouth earlier.  
  
"Aragorn?" Aragorn turned his head slightly, and lowered it again.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I was totally out of line, and I never should have said anything to you....it's just that..well I love you so much, sometimes I think I'm a little too hard on you." Legolas said. Aragorn turned around completely and held out his arms, which Legolas ran into, tears coming down his face now too.  
  
"I'm sorry." Legolas said tearfully.  
  
"No, *I'm* sorry. It's my fault I was too sensitive." Aragorn cried.  
  
"OK, it was your fault." Legolas said nonchalantly. Aragorn pulled away from him quickly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just joking."  
  
***Hmmm......needs more action......they *will* be meeting Frumpy and Co. soon so get ready for that. Maybe I'll even throw a little Gandalf in the mix......be sure to tell me how it's going.*** 


	6. Vomit and Hobbits

***I hope you guys are happy with this chapter as it's longer then the last one......and for all of you that e-mailed me to tell me you don't like mpregs or slash....guess what? NOBODY CARES! I'm not forcing you to read this..I happen to like the way this is turning out and if you have a problem with males being pregnant......go away. For everybody else.....hope you like this chapter.***  
  
"Legolas!"  
  
Legolas bounded up from the ground where he moments before lay sleeping, and turned his head from side to side, trying to decipher where the danger was. He then, with his keen elf eyes, spotted Aragorn keeled over on the ground heaving his guts out.  
  
"Darling! What happened? Are you okay?" Legolas asked, concern filling his voice. Aragorn looked up weakly.  
  
"What is it look like? I must have eaten something weird." Aragorn said, trying to remember what out of the many MANY things he had eaten, had sparked the vomiting. Legolas sat for a moment and then it hit him.  
  
"Mela," he said softly, trying to keep from laughing, "It's just morning sickness."  
  
"What?" Aragorn's blank look just made Legolas want to laugh even more.  
  
"Morning sickness estal. It happens when you're pregnant. You throw up."  
  
"How do you know?" Aragorn asked suspiciously. This "morning sickness" thing sounded totally bogus, not to mention frightening to him. He probably just had a hangover.  
  
"One of my servants was a midwife too. She was always spouting out all this stuff. Didn't you know?" Legolas asked, very much surprised when Aragorn shook his head sadly.  
  
"Well how long is this stupid sickness supposed to last? A week.....two?" Aragorn asked drearily.  
  
"Umm...actually it's everyday. Sometimes it ends by the sixth month......and sometimes not. AHHHH!" yelped Legolas as he ducked just in time to miss Aragorn's attempt to punch his light's out.  
  
"You.....IT WAS YOU! It's all your fault." Aragorn accused, making excessive finger pointing gestures towards Legolas. Legolas shrank away truly hurt.  
  
"Don't worry Aragorn, I'll be here by your side all the while." Aragorn calmed down a bit, and sat down to digest this new piece of information. Meanwhile, Gimli had gotten up and was back to his chanting, and rocking.  
  
"Stupid everybody, waking Gimli up. Gimli no happy. Stupid Frumpy and Sammy......stupid man.....stupid Gandalf, never lets me have any fun. Gimli Gimli Gimli......no no no........happy happy happy." Chanted Gimli. Legolas and Aragorn both looked up, glanced at each other worriedly, and looked back to Gimli.  
  
"Uh Gimli?"  
  
"What?" Gimli grunted.  
  
"Are you talking about yourself third person?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Yeah, so what if I am? Gimli can do whatever Gimli wants to do." Yelled a very angry dwarf lord. Legolas turned away and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Ok....then."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Any sign of Frumpy?" asked Aragorn wearily. It had been five days since they had set out from Rohan in search of the stupid fat gay hobbits, and still no sign of them, except for the trail of sticky white liquid and lembas, that they had been following.  
  
"No, and his name is Frodo." Legolas said, just as weary of the journey, and the midnight awakenings by Aragorn to go make him something to eat. Legolas was so fed up, he felt like running off and joining Frodo. Ew wait, no he didn't.  
  
"Stupid Frumpy."  
  
Legolas sighed and continued walking. All of a sudden he saw something shiny flash ahead of him in the forest. Then again. It was almost as if the flashes were in some sort of rhythmic movement. Coming a little closer, Legolas saw that they were not just flashes, but the ring, and two hobbits engaged in a rather carnal activity.  
  
"Well, looks like we found them."  
  
***Yeah! More Frumpy for all......hm...I can't think of a name for Sam though.....or Gandalf.....I would appreciate one.*** 


	7. Lookie Here

***Here come Frodo, and don't forget Sam........I usually don't like including them because they're not my favourite characters but this time I did, and I hope you like the way they are........erm.....portrayed. I know I know, it's sort of cliché, but play along.***  
  
"What in the name of Eowyn's hairy chest are you doing?" cried Legolas, wringing his hands in despair, at the sight of the two hobbits. Frodo looked up first, and then continued...humping Sam. Sam on the other hand, shrieked girlishly, and ran for cover behind a tree. Frodo looked at Sam longingly, and then turned back to the three very frightened companions that stood before him.  
  
"What's the matter with you? Do you know how long it took me to get him out of the closet?" yelled Frodo. Aragorn smirked, and stepped here.  
  
"Now look here Frumpy-"  
  
"Frodo." Interrupted the little hobbit. Aragorn stared at him for a moment and proceeded.  
  
"Ok whatever Frumpy-"  
  
"Frodo!"  
  
"Frumpy," Aragorn continued louder this time, ignoring Frodo, "What's the meaning of all this? Running off to be with your little freakazoid friend over there." Frodo looked up at Aragorn angrily and waved his fist, barely missing Aragorn's nether regions.  
  
"He's not a freakazoid, and you're one to talk. I could here you and the elf while you were looking for us. Seems we're not the only ones who are queer. Seems-"  
  
"OK," interrupted Legolas loudly, "We're all together now and the main thing is getting to Mordor, and destroying the ring. So let's get a move on it shall we? Sam! Get out of the forest, we all know what you were doing."  
  
Slowly, a very small figure emerged from behind the tree, now fully dressed. Sam approached the group hesitantly and as soon as he got there, wrapped himself around a very distressed Legolas.  
  
"Argh! What are you doing? Get off of me!" yelled Legolas. Gimli looked on enviously and muttered,  
  
"NOBODY wants to hug *me*. Stupid fat Sam, stupid fat Froho, stupid sexy elf. Stupid pregnant man."  
  
Frodo gave Gimli a quick hug, and moved away rapidly, before the dwarf could get to clingy. Sam however, acted differently upon the dwarf's muttering.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" he shrieked, and toned it down a little when everyone else winced, "You're pregnant? Congratulations!" he said, pumping Aragorn's hand enthusiastically. Aragorn beamed back at Sam.  
  
"Thanks, you know you're the first to say that to me." Sam looked shocked. "Well Frodo will say it too, won't you honey?" Frodo nodded sadly, and offered his congratulations. Aragorn now in a very happy mood, suggested they move on.  
  
"Ok, but can you tell me one thing first?" asked Frodo eagerly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When you have the baby will you name it Frodo?" Aragorn and Legolas exchanged looks, that were not caught by Frodo, as they were much higher then his small stature.  
  
"Um.....how about no, I don't want my kid to be named after some retard named Frumpy."  
  
"FRODO!"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
***Ok I have to admit the ending was more than a little shabby.....sorry but I'm really stressed out lately, and it's hard to even find the time to write new chapters.....I have 4 unit test this week! AHHHH I feel totally exhausted but I know it's worth it to see your smiling faces, er.....reviews....well just to make me feel better write some nice long reviews..*** 


	8. Midnight Snacks

***Running out of ideas ppl! I would truly appreciate some suggestions***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Aragron, nor Legolas, or even Gimli. I do own Frumpy, but not Frodo, I also do not own Sam......thank god.***  
  
"I wonder what the baby will be......a girl or a boy?" Aragorn pondered aloud. Legolas looked up from where he was making a sundae with muskrat meat on top. It was midnight, and Aragorn had been craving something 'sweet but bloody'. Legolas was regretting having agreed, but now looking at Aragorn's dreamy face he laughed.  
  
"It doesn't matter, I'll love either one just as much. But I must confess, I've been hoping it's a girl, so we can go shopping together, and swap secrets about guys together," Legolas said his throat getting tight, and tears coming to his eyes just thinking about it.  
  
Aragorn stared at Legolas hard, and then shrugged. Only God knew what his lover thought about half the time.  
  
"How's that sundae coming along?" Aragorn called. Legolas cringed and turned around quickly.  
  
"Shh, or you'll wake everyone up."  
  
"There really is no one to wake up Legolas." Aragorn said gesturing to the huddles. In one corner Frodo was seeing how long it took him to lick all the way down to Sam's toes. In the other, Gimli sat rocking back and forth chanting.  
  
"Not long now, Gimli will have his way.......then they'll all be sorry. Gimli was the best of them all.....but no one cared. YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY!" he screamed. Frodo looked up from licking Sam, shook his head and continued. Legolas glanced at Gimli in concern, and turned to Aragorn who was devouring his sundae.  
  
"I'm really worried about Gimli." Legolas said. Aragorn looked up, ice cream dribbling down his face.  
  
"Mmphsy whash she jmater?"  
  
"Huh?" Legolas asked puzzled. Aragorn swallowed then said,  
  
"Why, what's the matter?" Aragorn asked. Legolas looked at him disbelief then pointed at Gimli.  
  
"Um......I don't know maybe it's the fact that he keeps rocking back and forth. Or could it be that he keeps talking about himself in third person. Or maybe it's just because he keeps trying to rape the father of your child!" Legolas said sarcastically. Aragorn sniffed, and then nodded, returning to his bloody sundae.  
  
"Ok I'll talk to him tomorrow."  
  
"What will I do if he tries to rape me again?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Just get him pregnant. That will be punishment in itself." Aragorn said bitterly. Legolas now turned to Aragorn with concern.  
  
"Mela, are you resentful about the baby? Because that's not good at all......I don't want you to hate the sight of our child."  
  
"No," sighed Aragorn, "it's just sort of hard. I just can't wait till we have our own kid."  
  
"I know, it'll be great."  
  
***There ends my night chapter.....I still don't know how to get rid of the stupid Ring.......any ideas? Feel free to review at any time *wink* *wink* well, better get going....*** 


	9. Gettin it on

***Hmm, this chapter is odd.....but I like it.....I hope you do too...***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own no characters blah blah blah  
  
"Aragorn, when are you going to have the little...."talk", with Gimli we discussed last night?" Legolas asked desperately, trying to detach Gimli from his beautiful rear end. Aragorn shrugged.  
  
"No hurry."  
  
Legolas tackled Gimli to the floor, and yelled,  
  
"Yes, there IS a hurry."  
  
"Fine, no need to get your pink panties in a bunch." Aragorn answered lazily. He moved where Legolas was beating Gimli over the head with his bow. Gimli looked up excitedly, and turned to a very frustrated Legolas.  
  
"You wear pink panties?"  
  
"ARAGORN!"  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Aragorn helped Legolas up and pulled a very clingy Gimli over to the side.  
  
"Now Jimmy, you know this can't go on." Aragorn explained, feigning patience as he felt rather moody, and somewhat possessive right now.  
  
"Gimli."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Gimli's name is Gimli."  
  
"Alriiiiiiight," Aragorn said rolling his eyes, "anyway Jimmy," he continued loudly over the dwarf's protests. "You have to leave Legolas alone. Find some other person...er...elf to "get it on" with." Gimli looked at Legolas longingly, plunked down on the ground and proceeded to wail.  
  
"Nobody loves Gimli.....Gimli is so alone, so sad, so frustrated, so impotent."  
  
"Impotent?"  
  
"Er....Gimli means impatient."  
  
"Ok then..." Aragorn threw his hands up in despair, and tried one last time.  
  
"Let me just tell you one thing Jimmy, I'm pregnant and possessive. Come near the elf again and your balls are mine. Literally." Aragorn threatened. Gimli shrank away, and nodded his head in sad acceptance. Legolas on the other hand, whooped in joy, and threw his arms around Aragorn's neck.  
  
"Thanks babe." Legolas said ecstatically, pulling Aragorn into a very long, passionate French kiss. Frodo, and Sam looked at each other, and then proceeded to rip each other's clothes off and make mad hobbit love. Gimli sat down in the corner and began to act out the parts of two people.  
  
"Hello Gimli."  
  
"Oh, hello there."  
  
"Want to get it on Gimli?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Aragorn pulled away from Legolas for a moment and gazed into his eyes, forgetting the cravings, mood swings, unpredictable gas, and swollen feet.  
  
"You're worth it mela." He said earnestly. Legolas nodded softly, and whispered,  
  
"So are you."  
  
***These mushy endings are angering me.......let's see what we can do about that....cackle cakle.....for I am the all powerful author....Muhahahahah! Ok that's enough.....just remember to review pplz!*** 


	10. Fights with Frumpy

DISCLAIMER: Don't own nobody.  
  
***Oh, this chapter starts out funny but ends a lil sad.....if you're crazily over emotional and cry at commercials....then you better stock up on tissues...otherwise..it's fine and I hope you guys like this chapter.....it's a somewhat long one.***  
  
"Um..guys." Frodo whispered fearfully, stopping dead in his tracks. Legolas and Aragorn stopped, and looked back, Aragorn with a mouthful of club sandwich.  
  
"What is it?" Legolas asked, very irritated that he had had to stop his daily power walk.  
  
"Uh.....I think I lost the ring. Arghhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Frodo in horror and disgust as the mouthful of mushed up and chewed club sandwich was propelled from Aragorn's mouth to Frodo's face.  
  
"Ew.." Wailed Frodo. Aragorn scowled, and stood directly above Frodo, shooting death glares at him. Frodo gulped, he did *not* want to die young, well middle aged, by the hands of a very angry pregnant man.  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST IT?" thundered Aragorn. Frodo winced, but managed to hold his ground, though reluctantly.  
  
"I'm....er....sorry."  
  
"I knew you were stupid Frumpy but," Aragorn paused, to take a breath, and Frodo didn't bother to correct his name. Now was definitely not the time. "I didn't know you were an absolute moron." Frodo now fled, tears flying down his face. Sam watched his lover run away and turned to Aragorn.  
  
"There was no need to call him those mean things." Sam said firmly. Aragorn narrowed his eyes at Sam, who regretted saying those things to the sensitive pregnant Aragorn.  
  
"Oh yeah? Well I don't give a damn Fatty. Now go join Frumpy." Aragorn said fiercely. Sam nodded sadly, and ran to the woods where Frodo had gone, as he was leaving he called over his shoulder.  
  
"My name is Sam, and his is Frodo, F-R-O-D-O."  
  
"Whatever." Aragorn turned to Legolas with his hands on his hips.  
  
"Can you believe that?" Aragorn asked his voice filled with disgust and contempt for the hobbit.  
  
"No, but I can't believe you either." Aragorn whirled around and glared at Legolas.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean you shouldn't have yelled at him." Legolas answered calmly. "If you hadn't of, maybe he would've remembered where it was he last put the ring. Now he's much to upset, and Sam and him will be in the woods for hours having sympathy sex."  
  
"They have sex for any occasion. And I have every right to lose my temper. Frumpy's an idiot."  
  
"He may be an idiot, but you can't yell at him just because you have crazy mood swings."  
  
"Where is all this coming from anyway?" demanded Aragorn, "All of a sudden you're totally against everything I do. If that's the way you feel, maybe you should keep the child and leave me alone." Aragorn blurted out, regretting the words, even as they came out of his mouth. Legolas cringed, but still stayed calm.  
  
"I love you meleth, more than anything else in this world, and even more than you I know I will love this baby, and I refuse for it to feel any sadness or any pain. Even if it's the tension between us. If-if.." Legolas stammered, choking back tears, "If that's the way you feel, then after we destroy the ring.....we'll-we'll......well we won't be together anyway." Here Legolas broke down completely and sat down, and began to sob. Aragorn longed to hold him in his arms, and take back all his harsh words, but it was too late, and his pride was too strong.  
  
"Fine then." Aragorn spun on his heel, and stomped off, leaving his lover crying on the ground.  
  
***Oh my god, I think I'm gonna cry.......I hate to leave you like this.....but I promise I'll have the next chapter up soon.....don't worry it'll be here in a flash...well gotta go eat dinner....and I just bought Catch Me if You Can......I LOVE Leonardo Dicaprio....erm....I mean I love his *acting* lol....anyway...don't forget to review!*** 


	11. Formulating A Plan

DISCLAIMER: All I own in this story are the horrors and trauma that I put the characters through....everything else belongs to Bill Gates......no just jokin.....and as I told you before I also own Viggo Mortenson......feel free to take me up on the offer to pet him any time.......he remains a tame creature.  
  
***Well I'm just pleased as puddin', right as rain, happy as a papaya.....uh....anyway.....I'm really happy about my reviews.....sniff sniff......you guys are the best....even though my muses *glares at muses*.......seem to think otherwise.....they're always complaining....and Gimli at something weird and keeps throwing up on Legolas, who in turn is throwing a FIT! Well enjoy the chapter pplz***  
  
"Frodo." Whispered Sam, as they slowly made their way back to camp. It was well past midnight, and after their little *rendezvous* in the forest, the two exhausted hobbits had crept back. They had heard Aragorn and Legolas' argument, and agreed that it was wholly Aragorn's fault.  
  
"What is it Sam?"  
  
"What're we going to do if- if Aragorn came back? Which he probably did." Asked Sam fearfully. Frodo took a deep breath and continued walking.  
  
"We run." Sam nodded silently, and they continued to camp and saw that Aragorn had not come back. There was only Gimli sitting in the corner and Legolas, sitting in front of the fire, staring at it, his face expressionless.  
  
"Uh......Legolas?" Frodo began timidly. Legolas looked up at Frodo, and his face turned to one of fury.  
  
"What do you want? Aren't you happy now that you've broken a happy home? Go screw Sam some more, I don't need you." Legolas said angrily. Frodo whimpered and shrank into Sam, who stepped forward in defence of his lover.  
  
"Legolas, you know you don't mean that. Now Aragorn is gone, and with his...er...*condition* it's not safe for him to be wandering around alone..we should go find him." Sam prodded gently. Legolas nodded miserably, and said,  
  
"I wish I had never said anything to him. I love our baby.......it's not even born yet, but I love it. I can't even sleep without talking to it." Then pausing at Frodo and Sam's odd looks, Legolas added quickly, "I mean talking to Aragorn's stomach." The looks intensified, and Legolas shrugged. "Well I'm better off then Gimli." The hobbits nodded in agreement. It seemed no one was as bad off as Gimli.  
  
"SOON IT WILL BE MY TIME!" a muffled scream from Gimli's corner, caused the three companions to jump and shake their heads in disbelief.  
  
"Anywaaaaaaaaaaays, Frodo and I will go look by the river. Um..Legolas you go look in the forest, and Gimli...." Sam paused throwing a baleful look at Gimli, "Uh, you stay here."  
  
"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MY POWER LITTLE FATTY!" another scream and evil laugh erupted from the corner. Legolas rolled his eyes and turned back to the two hobbits.  
  
"Ok let's get going."  
  
***I really wanted to combine two chapters and make this one chapter.......but unfortunately, I have to go out....well.....I'll put the next chapter up tomorrow. Hopefully Aragorn will be found alive.....MUHAHAH...just jokin.....I could never kill Aragorn, or Legolas. Don't forget to REVIEW!*** 


	12. Drink and Make up

***I know, I know .....it took awhile for this chapter to come out.....but yesterday was Mother's Day (as you will see I have incorporated this commercial holiday into the story), and I had to take my Mother Dear out for dinner....so it took a bit of time...I would really appreciate some suggestions...and.....erm....*constructive criticism*, OK who am I kidding? I hate criticism, but I LOVE reviews so be sure to tell me what you think...***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nor hide nor tail of any of the characters. However the cheap wine was supplied by none other than the all magnificent *moi*......so all bow down before me...Ok whatever just read the goddamn story  
  
"Aragorn!" called Legolas anxiously as he tread softly, yet very respectfully through the forest. He had been looking for hours, OK only 15 minutes but every minute that went by, assured him more and more that Aragorn was dead somewhere and being eaten by some savage like Gimli.  
  
"Arag-AHHHHHH!" Legolas screamed as something came hurtling towards him. He took a step back and looked down at the thing that was hugging his midriff. It was an awful dirty thing, and it had a distinct stench about it, it was almost as if it were.....  
  
"ARAGORN!" cried Legolas joyously, jumping up and down with excitement. Aragorn looked up at Legolas with a dirty tear streaked face and began blubber.  
  
"ImsorryInevermeanttoleavepleaseneverfightwithmeagain."  
  
"What?" Legolas asked, puzzled through and through by this rapid streak of words.  
  
"I said, I'm sorry, and I never meant to leave. Let's never fight again." Aragorn wailed. Legolas nodded happily, but then pushed back reluctantly.  
  
"I'm willing to forgive and forget mela, but there is one important thing I need to ask you." Legolas said, his face now growing sombre. Aragorn nodded eagerly and gestured that he was listening.  
  
"I need to know whether or not you would really leave our baby. I hate to say this but-um....if you really would leave, I think it's better if you were never there from the start. Why should our child have to lose something?" Legolas asked, fighting away tears. Aragorn started to protest, but then nodded his head in resignation.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry. I never meant to say that, and I would never ever leave you and our baby. I love you both too much." Aragorn said. Legolas nodded back, and grabbed Aragorn into a tight embrace.  
  
"I missed you estal." Legolas murmured into the nape of Aragorn's neck. Aragorn whispered his agreement, and all of a sudden seized Legolas face, and kissed him on both cheeks.  
  
"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MELETH!" he cried merrily, his happy grin fading noticeably at Legolas' withering stare.  
  
"What is this 'mother's day'?" the elf asked in confusion, then his expression chilled considerably.  
  
"Aragorn, "he began, Aragorn froze and turned to Legolas meekly, "You've been drinking that cheap wine again haven't you?" Legolas accused, pointing his finger at Aragorn in suspicion. Aragorn started to deny it, but figured there was no point in lying. "Yes." He answered weakly. Legolas scowled, and lifted his chin.  
  
"Do you know what that can do to the baby?" he asked icily. Aragorn bowed his head in shame, and nodded sheepishly. Legolas sighed and took Aragorn back into his arms.  
  
"Good, then I trust you not to do it again." Aragorn lifted his head in surprise.  
  
"You mean you're not mad at me?" he asked dazedly. Legolas smiled softly at his lover and shook his head.  
  
"No I'm not mad at you, but I am mad at myself for letting you run off. I'm sorry Aragorn."  
  
"I'm sorry too."  
  
"So we're even, let's go back to camp." Legolas started to run back and stopped when he felt Aragorn's hand on his thigh.  
  
"Ummm....before we go......could you make me something to eat?"  
  
***Well we're back on track......this fanfic, unlike my last will continue after the baby is born and the three of them will go back to Rivendale and who knows what will happen from there?*** 


	13. Dead and Gone

***Dear Samantha, if you think this fanfic is stupid...guess what? I don't care, keep your opinion to yourself....I said I wanted SUGGESTIONS, not outright insults.....for the rest of you *muah* *muah*.....I love you all....thank you for taking the time to review...I hope you have a good time reading this chapter.***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Aragorn, or Legolas (isn't life unfair?), or the hobbits or Gimli, however I do own the *dead* Gimli....so there....  
  
"OK, this could be a problem." Aragorn said, as he unsuccessfully tried to wake Gimli up for the 36th time.  
  
"*Could*, be a problem?" Legolas asked, in disbelief. The two hobbits, for once were NOT screwing each other, and both stood in the circle around Gimli, gaping at him.  
  
"Umm.....what are we going to do? We can't just leave him here." Sam said, scratching his head, and slapped away Frodo's hand when he tried to scratch his lower area(s).  
  
"We're just going to have to take him with us, and go back to Rivendale." Shrugged Legolas.  
  
"WHAT?!" cried the hobbits in unison, envisioning themselves lugging the stout dwarf all the way to Rivendale. They knew it was useless to get Aragorn to help, he might strain his already aching back.  
  
"Well do you have a better idea?" Legolas snapped, irritation clear in his voice. Sam and Frodo cowered beneath him, and shook their heads mutely.  
  
"Ok then, let's get going."  
  
***SIX HOURS LATER***  
  
"Legolas, can't you drag him now? The rigor mortis is kicking in and it's a bitch to drag him all the way." Frodo whined, sweat pouring down his face. Aragorn skipped in front of him joyously, every now and then stopping to pick flowers.  
  
"Get Sam to help you." Legolas said without turning around.  
  
"But Sam is already helping me." Frodo said angrily. Legolas turned around and saw Sam crouched underneath Gimli's waist, and crotch area.  
  
"Please help me, I'm frightened and the stench is unbearable." Sam whispered, on the verge of tears. Legolas sighed, and grabbed the dwarf from the hobbits, slinging it over his shoulder. The two hobbits sighed with relief and fell to the floor just as Aragorn turned around.  
  
"What are you doing sitting on the floor like that?" he said crisply, "This is a WAR people, not some carnival. And what's this? Legolas is carrying Jimmy, there's two of you and only one of him. He can't do *everything* you know. Legolas put Jimmy down, Frumpy and Fatty, pick him up." Ordered Aragorn.  
  
"But-" the two hobbits began to protest, and quieted down when they saw Aragorn shooting death rays at them.  
  
"Fine." Sighed Sam, running to pick up the top half of Gimli, leaving a very disturbed Frodo to the back. Legolas looked back sympathetically, but knew if he said anything it might set Aragorn off, and he wasn't willing to risk losing him ever again.  
  
"Don't worry, only one more day till we're in Rivendale." Legolas said, skipping ahead to join Aragorn.  
  
***The next chapter will take you a few months ahead, and then we're going to go to raising the baby......so for those of you who like this whole trekking a million miles thing, it's not going to last*** 


	14. Dream Dream Dream

***Yeah I know it's been a little while, and I'm sorry but I haven't had time to write the next chapter.....but it's finally here and it's relatively long.....so enjoy it while you can.....hope you like it.***  
  
DISCLAIMER: As always I own nothing, and Tolkien owns everything. Except for that colander I stole from his house.....that is now mine.  
  
"Uh Frumpy?"  
  
"What?" Frodo asked, looking up from where he was busy rubbing Aragorn's feet. Legolas had gone out to go shopping for the baby and taken Sam with him, leaving poor Frodo to tend to Aragorn all by himself.  
  
"I think I'm having labour pains." Aragorn said, and doubled over in pain, gasping for air. Frodo backed away instinctively, and began to hyperventilate.  
  
"NO! This can't be happening! It must be...." Frodo groped around wildly thinking for reasons that Aragorn may be having pains, "It must be that almond cake you ate an hour ago."  
  
"No, it's not an almondy type of pain." Aragorn said, straightening up a little. Frodo realised he had been hyperventilating, and returned his breathing to normal.  
  
"Well what are we going to do?"  
  
"I dunno, wait for Legolas?" Aragorn shrugged, and then all of a sudden felt another contraction coming on and reached for Frodo's hand squeezing it to the verge of popping his bones out.  
  
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"Frodo, wake up." Frodo, sat up in his bed, and looked around dazedly. He saw Sam sitting next to him in bed, with a worried expression on his face, but nothing else on.  
  
"Horrible dream....horrible...." muttered Frodo distractedly. Sam's expression intensified and he took Frodo into his arms, snuggling him against his chest.  
  
"There there, it wasn't real. Everything's ok."  
  
"Everything's ok." Frodo repeated, and drifted back to sleep.  
  
***MEANWHILE IN LEGOLAS AND ARAGORN'S BEDROOM***  
  
"I don't know Aragorn is it good for the baby?" Legolas asked nervously edging away from a very eager and needy Aragorn.  
  
"Who car-umm...."Aragorn paused seeing Legolas' eyes narrow, "I mean, Elrond said as long as it wasn't too jumpy we could do it."  
  
"I don't know." Legolas said, shaking his head. "You're 7 months into the pregnancy. This kind of thing could damage the baby. And what if- what if....." Legolas paused dramatically, and shifted his eyes around supiciously, "What if the baby can hear us?" he whispered. Aragorn stared at Legolas in disbelief and began to laugh hysterically.  
  
"What, what is it.....what's so funny?" Legolas demanded indignantly, with his hands on his hips.  
  
"God in heaven, Legolas all we're doing is pottery."  
  
***SOMEWHERE IN RIVENDELL.....***  
  
"Father!" screeched Arwen. Elrond winced and looked up from his books. From the tone of Arwen's voice, this was not going to be a happy scene.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm back!" Arwen announced, entering the room with a kick in the air. Elrond stared at her puzzled, and Arwen's expression immediately turned to one of anger.  
  
"You didn't even notice I was gone!" she yelled. Elrond flinched, and quickly tried to fix his blunder.  
  
"Of course I did, er......darling. But I was just a little busy. So how was your trip to....um....how was your trip?"  
  
"Fine, but I missed all these people. They're so much easier to boss around. The elves in Lothlorien are so.....feisty." Arwen grimaced, recalling the arguments she had had with the elves. Elrond snickered at the irony of Arwen's statement.......who was she to call anyone feisty?  
  
"Well, anyways I'm going to go see Aragorn." Arwen said nonchalantly and headed out the door. Elrond froze thinking of the scene at Legolas' temporary home in Rivendell. He loved his nephew and his foster son, and did not want to see them die in the hands of his shudder......daughter.  
  
"Wait, Arwen!" Elrond called, Arwen turned, now becoming irritated.  
  
"What is it?" she snapped.  
  
"Um, it's late you should rest first." Elrond said weakly, not able to think of any other excuse.  
  
"Don't worry I'll sleep at Aragorn's." Arwen grinned slyly, and ran out the door before Elrond could say another word.  
  
This was not going to be pretty.  
  
***Well, I'm tired now and have to go. I hope to put the next chapter up soon but you never know, so no promises. Don't forget to review!*** 


	15. Confrontations

*** This one is one of my longest ever chapters, that's because I have guests coming over, and I won't be able to write for awhile, so I figured I might as well make up for it.....anyway hope you like this chapter***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, Gandalf(though his reference is small and subtle), or Legolas......dammit....I also don't own Arwen, who I don't like anyway, and am VERY glad that Tolkien didn't talk about her much....and Liv Tyler doesn't do her character justice....  
  
"Mmm, Sam move over." Frodo muttered sleepily. Sam obliged, though rather grudgingly.  
  
"Why do you have to have so much of the bed?" he whined. Frodo looked up from his pillow, just long enough to send a death glare at Sam.  
  
"Because I'm prettier." And that is why Sam was awake fretting about getting old, when the knocking began.  
  
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK  
  
Sam quickly nudged Frodo awake. "Frodo, it looks like someone is at the door, maybe we shou-"  
  
Sam was cut off by the string of profanity that was being screeched outside the door.  
  
"I KNOW YOU'RE HOME ARAGORN! Open the door!"  
  
Aragorn woke with a start and saw Legolas sitting next to him with his lips pursed and eyes narrowed in annoyment.  
  
"Oh god.......Legolas you can't leave me here with her. Think of the child....THINK OF THE CHILD!" Aragorn begged. Legolas sighed and turned back to Aragorn.  
  
"How could you think for a moment I would leave you alone with......*that*?" Legolas asked, "I'm just thinking how to hide you." Aragorn nodded and whimpered as the pounding on the door intensified.  
  
"OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!"  
  
"I've got it!" Legolas said suddenly, grabbing Aragorn's hand and leading him to the window.  
  
"Run to the trees, and stay hidden until she comes back." Aragorn stared at Legolas blankly.  
  
"You want me to jump out of the window while I'm carrying your child?" Aragorn asked, feeling hurt and used.  
  
"For godsakes Aragorn, we're on the first floor, it's barely a foot to the ground. Now run or Arwen will get you." Legolas urged. That was all it took for Aragorn to leap out the window, and dash for the trees. Legolas got up and noticed the knocking had stopped. Odd, now it sounded as if there were voices coming from Frodo and Sam's bedroom. Legolas quickly tied his satin robe tightly and headed for the hobbits' room. When he entered he gasped in horror, and some sick twisted kind of amusement. There in the middle of the room stood Arwen with Frodo in a headlock, while simultaneously, shaking an angry and rebellious Sam off of her ankle. She looked up at Legolas first with relief, and then her expression changed to one of suspicion. She let Frodo fall to the floor, flicked her hair back and preened much to the disgust of everyone else in the room.  
  
"What are you doing here cousin?" She asked coldly. Legolas smiled, with a smug expression which he knew annoyed the hell out of Arwen.  
  
"Well, I live here." Legolas nearly let out a laugh when he saw Arwen's eyes widen with shock.  
  
"What- you mean- what......how?"  
  
"Well, I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but since you're going to hear it anyway, I'd rather you heard it from me. Aragorn and I are together, as in a couple."  
  
"WHAT?" Arwen screamed.  
  
"Oh," Legolas added with relish, "He's pregnant too."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"That's right sister so you better watch yourself." Sam said snapping his fingers in front of Arwen, in mock imitation of Frodo. Arwen looked down at the little fat hobbit, and sent him flying with a swift kick of her heel. Frodo looked up at Arwen with rage in his eyes.  
  
"You're a monster!" he cried running over to see if Sam was injured. Arwen wiped her face, and looked back at her cousin.  
  
"You're going to pay Legolas, I'll see to that." She threatened thrusting her face close to him. Legolas grimaced and pulled away.  
  
"Ugh, please refrain from coming close to me. You smell disgusting." Legolas said, somewhat surprised as elves NEVER smell bad.  
  
"Yeah well, that's what happens when you do it with a wizard in the middle of a tavern." Arwen said, and shrugged when Legolas gestured his disgust, then remembering what she had came for she squinted her eyes and pointed her finger at the blonde beauty.  
  
"You better watch yourself cause I'm going to get you back." She said, and turned on her heel to leave, but somehow managed to tangle herself up and fell in a heap on the floor. Frodo taking advantage of this, ran over, kicked her hard, and ran away quickly before she could come back. Legolas just smirked and turned away.  
  
"Yeah, I'm just shaking in my boots Arwen." He said as she left in a huff. But, he felt his blood turn cold. Arwen was *not* to be underestimated.  
  
***Whew! That was long. I hate confrontations with Arwen......they're never as well written as they should be....well anyway it's the long weekend so peace out.....and don't forget to review....*** 


	16. Whores and Males

***Well, I've managed to find time to write this.....I'll have to squeeze in chapters here and there.....but I'm warning you, this week is hectic so don't expect much. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.***  
  
DISCLAIMER: Last night I had a dream that I DID own Legolas....and I chained the door shut, locked everything, and- well let's just say....THAT was sadly only a dream and that I don't have the good fortune to own him. Sigh.....  
  
"What are we going to do?" Aragorn asked, while he lay in Legolas' arms. It had been one week since Arwen's little.....spectacle, but Aragorn was still worried. Arwen was like a volcano that could stay dormant for years, then suddenly erupt, killing everyone.  
  
"Nothing, just wait."  
  
"But- but I'm scared.......I don't want her to hurt us." Aragorn whispered, looking left and right as if someone were listening.  
  
"As long as I'm here no one can hurt you." Legolas said, and kissed the top of Aragorn's head. Aragorn nodded, and suddenly looked up again.  
  
"Legolas."  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"When are we going to get married?"  
  
"Married?" Legolas asked incredulously. "Why do we have to get married?" he asked in confusion. Aragorn pulled away from Legolas' embrace and sat up.  
  
"Of course we have to be married. What will people think if we don't ?" Aragorn asked fearfully. Legolas gaped at Aragorn for a moment and then began to laugh hysterically.  
  
"Mela, I don't think- gasp...I don't think it matters what other people think. I mean you're obviously pregnant." Legolas said, still doubled over with laughter, gesturing at Aragorn's protruding stomach.  
  
"Oh yeah, easy for you to say." Aragorn said with his arms crossed, "You're a *male*, you're PERFECT! They'll just think I'm the cheap whore who couldn't wait to open up her legs." Aragorn sobbed. Legolas stared at his lover in disbelief and then hugged him.  
  
"Ok, I'm sorry, we'll get married. As long as you stop referring to yourself in feminine form. So when do you want the wedding to be?" Legolas asked, while trying to dislodge Aragorn's hand from under his tights.  
  
"How about tomorrow?"  
  
"TOMORROW?!" Legolas yelled. Aragorn winced and began to sulk.  
  
"I want to get married before the baby is born. And who knows? It may decide to come out next week."  
  
"But darling, be sensible.....how can we get everything arranged by tomorrow?" Legolas reasoned pleadingly. Aragorn turned slowly and glared at Legolas.  
  
"I WANT TO GET MARRIED TOMORROW, END OF STORY!" he screamed. Legolas flinched and nodded meekly.  
  
"Ok, Ok don't get your panties in a bunch, I'll call up Elrond tonight." Legolas, turned to go call Elrond but was stopped by Aragorn.  
  
"Wait, Elrond is marrying us?" Aragorn asked, his voice now very small.  
  
"Yeah, who else?" Legolas asked, moving towards the phone and was again stopped by Aragorn.  
  
"But-.......*she* won't be there will she?" Aragorn whispered fearfully. Legolas sighed and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Just because Elrond is marrying us doesn't mean that Arwen has to be here. Look if it makes you feel better.....I'll ask him to marry us here. Ok?" Legolas asked. Aragorn nodded, much relieved and let Legolas call Elrond.  
  
Tomorrow would be the happiest day of her.....erm....*his* life.  
  
***Hehehe, I wonder who'll crash that party......well don't forget to review.*** 


	17. Weddings, Secrets, and Deaths

***It's pretty early in the morning, so if there are any mistakes in spelling or anything I'm sorry.....anyway hope you like the chapter.***  
  
"When is he going to start?" complained Aragorn. Legolas took a deep breath and steadied himself, he was growing more and more irritated himself by the delay, and Aragorn's complaints hadn't helped.  
  
"I'm sure they'll start soon mela." Legolas reassured Aragorn, but himself doubted it as he looked into the corner where Gandalf and Elrond were at it like a bunch of frustrated teenagers. "That's it, I'm going over." So Legolas strode over to where Elrond and Gandalf, the only attendees except for Sam (the maid of honour), and Frodo, (the flower girl.......Gandalf was best man), necking.  
  
"Umm, sorry to interrupt, but could you possibly hurry it up or even better.......do this AFTER you marry us?" Legolas asked angrily. Elrond looked up in shock, and then remembered why he had come.  
  
"Fine, let's get this over with." He grumbled, and went to the front, but not before giving Gandalf one last longing look.  
  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to jo-"  
  
"WAIT!"  
  
Elrond stopped and looked up and grimaced when he saw what stood in the doorway. Aragorn screamed and hid behind Frodo, which wasn't too effective, and Legolas just rolled his eyes in irritation.  
  
"This wedding can't go on.........." Arwen paused dramatically, "Because, Aragorn is married to *me*."  
  
"WHAT?!" everyone in the room, including Aragorn yelled.  
  
"So, that means I could still be making out with Gandalf?" Elrond asked pitifully. Legolas glared at Elrond and then turned back to Arwen.  
  
"What are you talking about Arwen?" he asked crisply. Arwen smirked and turned back to Legolas.  
  
"He can't marry you.......we got married in secret two years ago." She announced gleefully. Legolas gaped at her and then turned to Aragorn.  
  
"Aragorn.....is this true?" Legolas asked, his voice deathly soft. Aragorn looked up and nodded very slowly. Legolas took a step back and staggered, before he fell down. Sam, who had been trying to help Frodo cover Aragorn, slapped Aragorn smartly across the face and said, "Uh uh booooooooy, you just went TOO far."  
  
"How could you Aragorn?" Legolas sobbed from the floor. Aragorn got up with some difficulty considering his bulk and waddled over to Legolas.  
  
"I'm sorry.......it's just that....*she* got me drunk and then forced me....I don't even remember it. And as soon as she told me, I fled Rivendell and never looked back......we NEVER.....you know *did it*." Aragorn pleaded. Legolas looked up with doubtful blue eyes, misted over with tears.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
"In that case," Legolas said, hoisting himself up, and wiping away his tears, "Let's take out the trash." He reached for and arrow and steadied it in his bow, aiming it straight at Arwen's fear frozen body.  
  
"Hasta la vista ugly." And with that Arwen Evenstar was killed by Legolas and her marriage with Aragorn......if there had ever been one.....was over. As her body lay on the floor motionless, everyone celebrated, and Aragorn and Legolas shared their first kiss as a married couple.  
  
Life was looking pretty damn good.......but for how long?  
  
***Look out for the next few chapters......cause BY POPULAR DEMAND.....I will be bringing one dead character back to life.........heheh...but WHICH one? Just don't forget to review.*** 


	18. It's Time

***First off, I'm really sorry it took so long to come out with this chapter, I've been busy.......Second, ummmmmmmmm....I dunno I just had the first thing to say....Anywayz, I hope you like the chapter, and I'm open to any suggestions to baby names***  
  
"LEGOLAS!"  
  
Frodo winced as he heard Aragorn's screams and turned to a just as helpless Sam.  
  
"What should we do?" he asked. It was the hundredth time Aragorn had screamed for Legolas, but Legolas was at Elrond's home making preparations for Arwen's funeral. It was almost as bad as the nightmare Frodo had had, but at least dear Sam was here with him.  
  
"I don't know, I guess we should take him to Elrond's home, but Elrond said not to come unless the contractions were 1 minute apart." Sam said anxiously, turning to look at Aragorn who was writhing in pain on the floor.  
  
"Maybe we should put him back on the bed, or better yet into the wheelchair, so we can wheel him to Elrond's place." Sam suggested. Frodo glanced at Aragorn, who had just broken a chair leg in his hand and then turned back to Sam.  
  
"No way."  
  
***MEANWHILE AT THE HOUSE OF ELROND***  
  
"I don't know Legolas are you sure?" Elrond asked weakly. He was worried about Arwen's funeral and thought it should be done the best as possible. After all Arwen had been his only.....legitimate....er *sort of* legitimate child.  
  
"Yes I'm sure Elrond, now do you want my help with the funeral preparations or not?" Legolas snapped, irritated by the way his uncle was acting. It wasn't as if anyone had mourned Arwen's death.  
  
"Yes bu-" Elrond began, but was interrupted by a scene at the door.  
  
"GIMLI HAS COME BACK FOR REVENGE!" yelled a voice from the door. Legolas and Elrond both stared at each other for a moment and then looked towards the door, where a grimy dwarf like object was dragging itself towards them. It seemed as if it was missing a leg, and a hand. Legolas grimaced in disgust and stepped away quickly. Elrond however, was very curious about what this thing might be and walked forward. Being the idiot that he was, it never occurred to him that the creature may in actuality be Gimli.  
  
"Who are you?" Elrond asked curiously. The creature looked up at Elrond to answer but saw Legolas standing behind him with his face frozen in an expression of boredom. He hadn't come back from the dead just to be ignored. He crawled past Elrond ignoring him, and clung to the blonde elf's waist. OK he was hanging onto Legolas' balls. Happy?  
  
"Ugh! Get off of me you freak!" Legolas cried, pushing away the dirty dwarf. Gimli looked up and sighed, which sounded very odd coming from a dwarf who should be dead.  
  
"Why can't you want Gimli the way Gimli wants you?" He wailed. Legolas wrinkled his nose and reached for his bow and arrow.  
  
"Cause you're perverted, disgusting, DEAD and I love my husband." Legolas answered calmly. And with that said, he shot the supposedly dead Gimli with his arrow, and looked very surprised when he didn't die.  
  
"Well, Gimli very well can't just go back to being dead without a dramatic exit now can he?" Gimli asked haughtily. And so the dwarf let out one last hear wrenching cry and fell to the floor. Legolas stood and stared at Gimli for a moment before rushing over and throwing him into the fire.  
  
"What did you do that for?" Elrond asked. Legolas looked at him in disbelief and then answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Well what if he came back to life?" All of a sudden there was an ear splitting scream from the foyer and Elrond and Legolas looked up sharply just as Sam huffed and puffed his way in.  
  
"Legolas," he said pausing for breath, "It's time."  
  
***Well, that was a cheesy chapter.......once again...sorry I took so long to put this chapter up, but like I said...I've been busy.....AND I NEED BABY NAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!don't forget to review.*** 


	19. Is it a boy, or a girl?

***It's time to find out whether it's a boy or a girl........well it's pretty obvious which one I would make it, if you read "The Grooming of Aragorn", I like to switch between genders after each story.......anyway I hope you like the chapter.***  
  
"Ok now whatever you do, DON'T PUSH!" Elrond told a very frazzled Aragorn. Legolas looked up in puzzlement.  
  
"What do you mean?" I thought you were supposed to push?" he asked. Elrond sighed and gave Legolas a very pointed look.  
  
"Yes well that *might* have worked HAD ARAGORN A PLACE TO PUSH THE BABY OUT OF!" Elrond retorted angrily.  
  
"Yes, I suppose you're right. Erm, but where will the baby be coming out of?" Legolas asked squeamishly. Elrond turned brandishing a large and shiny knife.  
  
"I'm going to cut it out." And with that said, Elrond turned to a very frightened Aragorn and proceeded to knock him out with a club. Sam, very disturbed by this all found this a good time to question what the hell was going on.  
  
"What did you do that for? Aren't there drugs you can give him?" he asked, very innocently. Elrond shrugged as he began the incision.  
  
"Yeah, but when am I ever going to be able to do THAT again?" he asked and pulled out a very healthy baby boy. Legolas who had temporarily fainted, and was brought back by the revolting sight of Frodo leaning over him, trying to get a kiss in, was awake, and crying.  
  
"Oh my god," he gushed, "What a beautiful baby......I'm going to make such a good daddy. Aren't I sugar, yes I am. Now aren't you the cuuutiest lil baby waby anybody ever saw?" he asked in gooey baby talk. Elrond, Sam, Frodo, and Aragorn who had woken up just as Elrond had finished making the final stitches, all stared at Legolas in disbelief. It was Sam who broke the silence by rushing over and joining Legolas.  
  
"HELLO THERE IS A DISTRESSED FORMERLY PREGNANT GUY LYING OVER HERE! I WOULD *ALSO* LIKE TO SEE THE BABY!" Aragorn yelled, his voice somewhat hoarse from all the screaming he had done earlier. Legolas quickly bundled the baby into his arms, and brought him over to Aragorn. Aragorn sighed and leaned back in the bed.  
  
"What a beautiful baby girl." He breathed. Legolas and Elrond exchanged looks and Legolas leaned over to Aragorn.  
  
"Uh, mela......it's a boy." He said hesitantly. Aragorn's head shot up, and he gave Legolas a cold stare.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked as he unwrapped the sleepy baby from it's swaddlings, "It's obviously a g-" and paused as he looked down in disbelief, "a boy......ah well, at least I have someone to inherit all my war crap." Aragorn said, shrugging, and cuddling the baby close.  
  
"Hey! I thought I was inheriting that?" Frodo's little voice piped up from somewhere beneath the bed.  
  
"Shut up Frumpy." Aragorn said casually and looked up from his son to see Legolas beaming at both of them from up above. He reached up and gave the surprised elf a big kiss on the mouth.  
  
"I love you Legolas." Aragorn said, as he handed Legolas the baby. Legolas looked down at his newborn son and sighed in relief. All the mood swings, cravings, unpredictable gas that Aragorn had put Legolas through had been worth this little bundle of joy.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
***Awwww, now this WOULD be a good place to end it......but I'm not going to.....and I still need BABY NAMES! People, put your heads together and THINK! Obviously the name has to be elvish or I'm sorry, it can't be used. Don't forget to review*** 


	20. What's in a Name?

***As there was only a disappointing number of ppl who answered my pleas for a name......the baby is still nameless...plz think of a name ppl....i would really appreciate it***  
  
"I don't see why you guys are making such a huge fuss about the name anyway.......why don't you just call him "Boy"." Frodo said with a sigh, as he looked up at the clock that read well past midnight. Legolas and Aragorn looked up from where they were arguing about the name Levin, and glared at the little hobbit with identical masks of fury.  
  
"Oh please Frumpy, you wanted to name him after yourself. Now go to your corner and watch Sam change the baby so you can learn how to too." Ordered Aragorn. Legolas sighed and leaned back in his chair.  
  
"God, I never knew it would be so hard just to come up with a name for the baby. It seems like nothing fits him right. But after all," Legolas paused to beam in the direction that Sam was pitifully changing his son's cloth diapers, "He is the son of a King and a Prince. *And* he's half elf......which makes him superior to all the other little children." Legolas added gleefully. Aragorn shrugged, the comment would have made him scream in anger a few weeks ago, but after the birth he had mellowed out considerably.  
  
"I don't know, maybe we should ask Gandalf for help." Aragorn suggested, and cowered when he met Legolas' icy stare.  
  
"Yeah, and watch him and Elrond make out for half and hour. NO WAY! I'm not going to expose my baby to that. And I'm shocked that you would even consider it." Legolas said crisply. Aragorn, who as you can obviously see was totally changed in attitude, shrugged again. This name thing was getting to be big hassle.  
  
"Hey! I know you can name him Sarodo." Sam's voice piped up from the corner, where he had finished changing a now very clean and beautiful baby, but was covered in muck from head to toe. Legolas just ignored this joining of Sam and Frodo's name, and walked over to retrieve his son.  
  
"What shall I name you?" He implored, and sighed in happiness as his son looked up at him with adoring grey-green eyes. "You're beautiful-" Legolas started and stopped when he heard Aragorn's protests.  
  
"NO! He's *handsome*, and manly." Aragorn interrupted. Legolas rolled his eyes.  
  
"God, he's only 10 days old Aragorn. Let go of the manliness thing." Legolas said. But he did feel a little awkward referring to his son as "him". He needed a name and he needed it now!  
  
***Is that clear enough people I NEED A NAME!!!!!!!!! SO HURRY UP AND GIVE IT TO ME PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!*** 


	21. At Loss for words

Now I didn't want to have to do this, but it seems you have left me no choice........I don't like writing messages from me in the middle of a story...and yes it is sort of the middle as I have many chapters sill planned. Unfortunately, there are not enough names, and I am totally at loss as to what I should name the baby. Girls name's I can do, but *guys* names? I'm pretty hopeless. Well this is my last.....erm.....I hate to put it this way...... "warning", if I don't get name I'll name the baby Argolas.....Muhahaha..OK I won't name him Argolas, but I will name him some WEIRD and CREEPY name, so I would really appreciate some help here.....Thanx, and I hope you like the story so far. 


	22. EUREKA!

DISCLAIMER: Haven't done this for awhile. Well, it's just the usual you know, I don't own nobody, except Elijah Wood who currently in the same cage as Viggo Mortenson. Personally I'm beginning to regret putting them together, the results are rather.......unappetizing.. well anyway hope you like the chapter.  
  
***Special thanks goes to ****IZZYKIT*** who provided us with such a lovely name....though as you well soon find out I am STILL looking for a middle name, so please watch out for one...****  
  
"Galáril."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Galáril."  
  
"I know what you said," Aragorn said snappishly. Sometimes he didn't know what to do with his husband, "I meant, where did you come up with it?"  
  
"I don't know it just sort of occurred to me sitting here." Legolas shrugged, looking up from the rocking chair, he was sitting in trying to get his son to go to sleep. "Do you like it?"  
  
"I don't know, it's not bad-" Aragorn said, and then added hastily seeing Legolas' expression, "I mean it's very good, it's just that it seems weird to have a name that actually fits him. I wonder if he'll like it."  
  
"Well we can try it out. Galáril...." Legolas whispered softly in his son's ear, and broke out in a wide grin when the boy looked up and began to giggle.  
  
"Well I think we have a winner..but what should his middle name be?" Aragorn asked, delighted that his son had a name.  
  
"I don't know, I guess we can worry about that later." Legolas said, and began to quietly sing Galáril a lullaby. Aragorn watched the happy scene for a moment before he got up and left the room. Legolas looked back at him worriedly, but waited till the baby fell asleep, and was safely tucked into his bed, before he went after him.  
  
"Mela, what's wrong?" Legolas asked, concern pouring from his voice, as he found Aragorn weeping softly on the bed. In truth he was more worried about this mood swing. I mean don't get him wrong or anything, he loved Galáril more than his own life, but he wasn't willing to watch Aragorn go through ANOTHER pregnancy.  
  
"I don't know, it's just that everything is happening so sudden. Today he has a name, tomorrow he'll have a girlfriend, and who knows what he'll be doing after that." Aragorn whimpered. Legolas' expression of concern melted, and he began to laugh somewhat hysterically.  
  
"What, what's so funny?" Aragorn asked truly hurt by this gesture of unfeeling. Legolas looked up still laughing, saw the look on Aragorn's face, and attempted to maintain a straight face.  
  
"I'm sorry but it's just that Galáril is barely a week old, and already you're stir crazy over him growing up." Sobering up a little, Legolas continued, "We're his parents, and he's not going to be with us forever, that much is true, but why don't we enjoy the time we DO have with him and just take it one day at a time."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose you're right. Well, anyway I'm going to go check on Frumpy and see if he's still in the kitchen." Aragorn said and swept out of the room. Legolas stared behind him, and rolled his eyes. Aragorn was *nothing* if not melodramatic.  
  
"You should have named him something else." Legolas jumped at the sound of a voice beneath him and looked down in shock as he saw Sam sitting beneath the bed.  
  
"How long have you been there?" Legolas asked suspiciously. Sam shrugged and got up to his feet.  
  
"Not long, just long enough to hear something about making out one day at a time."  
  
"You know I don't like it when people eavesdrop." Legolas began. Sam sighed and nodded unhappily.  
  
"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry....I just wanted to tell you some news, but with Mr. Moody over there, I wasn't sure if it was the right time." Sam said, now grinning broadly. Legolas looked at him curiously, and hid a smile.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Frodo and I are getting married!"  
  
***Whoa! Who would have known? I"LL tell you who.....ME! Hehehehe...ok ok I know I'm a little eccentric but I'm allowed to be seeing how I churn out these chapters on a reasonable amount of time....I still need a middle name so I would appreciate any help I could get....thanx...and don't forget to review.*** 


	23. Mood Swings and Injustice

***Thank you for all the suggestions which I will certainly keep in mind as I figure out what the heck the baby's middle name should be. Enjoy the chapter.***  
  
"What do you mean Frumpy is getting married?" Aragorn shrieked in anguish. Frodo looked up from where he was standing next to a giggling and blushing Sam.  
  
"Why, what's wrong?" he asked. Aragorn glared at Frodo for a moment and then turned his gaze to Sam, who immediately stopped giggling and began to whimper. Legolas laid a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder, and pushed the little hobbit behind him.  
  
"Aragorn, calm down. What's wrong with Sam and Frodo getting married? We did didn't we?" Legolas reasoned. Aragorn stomped his foot in frustration, now reverting his anger to his husband.  
  
"Yeah, we did. But when *they*," he said pointing angrily at Frodo and Sam, "get married, they will probably start popping out kids right away, and then where will we be?" he wailed. Legolas, Frodo and Sam, who had pushed away from Legolas all stared at him for a moment and began to laugh. Aragorn felt confused and used.  
  
"Everyone thinks I'm stupid and is always laughing at what I say.....no one appreciates me." He cried, and ran out of the room, covering his face with his hands. Legolas began to run after him, but was stopped by Frodo.  
  
"Wait, I'll take care of this." He said firmly, and Legolas shrugged, somewhat amused by the hobbit.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"NOO!!! Frodo, we still have our whole lives ahead of us...don't do this. FRODO I LOVE YOU!" Sam screamed with passion. Frodo simply continued walking and only paused for a moment to say,  
  
"Whether I live or not, I cannot say.....but I love you Sam, and I will not see this injustice done to us." And so he marched forward and was only somewhat marred by Legolas hysterical laughter behind him.  
  
"God Frodo, you're so melodramatic." Legolas snickered. He wasn't worried about Frumpy's safety, but he was worried about Aragorn's mood swing. It was getting too weird, and too like the pregnancy mood swings. After having the baby Aragorn had seemed to have mellowed out, but now he was just as feisty as ever. Hmm....  
  
***Sorry it was so short but I have to go......THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!!!! And I will be using one of them in the next chapter as the baby's middle name!!!!!!! Don't forget to keep reviewing...*** 


	24. Frumpy and Angst

**** Sorry it took so long...damn errors on the site wouldn't let me post my chapter.....ah well, it's here now...Look below for prize info***  
  
"Should we go check on them?" Sam asked anxiously for what seemed to Legolas to be the millionth time.  
  
"No, we can go when we're called there's no call for interupp-"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH" Legolas was interrupted by a load scream coming from the bedroom.  
  
"Ok let's go." Legolas and Sam quickly scrambled towards the room, and Legolas, who reached there first, pushed through the door, and gaped at the scene in front of him. There sat Aragorn, and Frodo, hugging each other. It was Aragorn who looked up and sashayed towards Legolas.  
  
"Hey honey." He said, and gave a stunned Legolas a quick peck on the cheek. Legolas looked at him in puzzlement, and then turned to Frodo, who smiled back.  
  
"I'll be right back darling, let me go check on Galáril." Aragorn called over his shoulder. Legolas just stuttered and then turned again to Frodo.  
  
"What happened?" he managed to ask. Frodo moved to the side of the bed, and pulled Sam down next to him, before he began his tale.  
  
"Well when, I came in I was really really frightened, I didn't know what would happen. So I'm walking, and there's Aragorn lying on the bed, sprawled out sobbing his head out. So I ask him what's wrong, and he goes 'Well I feel guilty about killing Arwen.'.  
  
"WHAT?!" Legolas yelled, "*THAT's* why he's been acting so weird. God, and he didn't even kill her.......I did."  
  
"Yeah, but he still felt partly responsible. He was worried about what Galáril, would think when he's older." Frodo continued, "But I told him that it wasn't his fault, and who knew? Maybe Arwen would even try to seduce Galáril to get back at you guys. Now THAT really riled him up, and he felt much better." Frodo finished happily. Sam and Legolas exchanged looks of amusement, and frustration.  
  
"So let me get this straight," Sam said, "He was worried about someone who is already dead?"  
  
"It's not his fault, he's paranoid about Arwen. I mean she did stalk him all his life." Frodo said defensively. Legolas laughed at Frodo's defensiveness, he thought it was pretty funny that the little hobbit was standing up for someone who didn't even know his name.  
  
"Yeah, well now that that's sorted out, we can pay more attention to your wedding.....whose wearing the dress?" Legolas asked jokingly, and stared at Sam when he screamed,  
  
"ME! ME!"  
  
"Ok then." Legolas said, rolling his eyes. Frodo however was delighted that *he* did not have to wear the dress.  
  
"This is going to be great, just a small quite affair." Frodo sighed happily.  
  
"What do you mean small?" Sam asked suspiciously.  
  
"I mean it'll just be us and Aragorn, and Legolas. Just a little thing." Frodo replied, feigning calmness. Sam looked at Frodo angrily and stomped his foot.  
  
"Our wedding is NOT going to be some SHABBY affair. It's going to be huge, and I'm going to get whatever I want, GOT IT?" he hissed, and nodded in satisfaction as Frodo nodded meekly. And with that he glided out of the room. Legolas looked down at Frodo and began to laugh.  
  
"You know what?"  
  
"What?" Frodo asked glumly.  
  
"I think Sam may be pregnant." Legolas said, laughing, and continued to laugh as heleft a stupefied Frodo behind in the room.  
  
***LITTLE FRUMPIES as one of my kind readers so aptly put it. Well only a few more chapters left folks.......and I have a SURPRISE!!!!! The 50th reviewer gets a special chapter bonus that I was going to use.....what would have happened if Legolas had NOT forgiven Aragorn for marrying Arwen.....hehehe.......wait and see....AND I NEED MIDDLE NAMES PEOPLE*** 


	25. Colours and Schemes

***Sorry it took so long guys.......stupid errors......plus I've actually been studying for my exams which is a first......well hope you like it, and I still have no prize winner!***  
  
"Now should the bouquet be white and yellow, a *pale* yellow of course, or a white and pale blue?" Sam asked breathlessly, to Legolas, who was draped casually on his pure white sofa, eating grapes, and once in awhile, dropping one in Galáril's hands, so he could squash it to his heart's content.  
  
"The pale blue seems nice, Frodo has blue eyes and you could get him to wear something that matched, and you could wear white......but the rest of the whole layout will have to be done in pale blue and white too.....OW! Galáril! Stop scratching my hands!." Legolas said snappishly, and then felt all his anger melt away as he looked into his son's pouty grey-green eyes. "Awww, that's ok sweety. Daddy still loves you......yes he does...." Legolas cooed at the giggling baby.  
  
Sam watched the scene happily for a moment and then looked down at his own stomach, where he was concocting his own bundle of joy. Frodo had NOT taken the new well, and was frightened of Sam becoming like Aragorn, but Sam had reassured him. Boy had *that* been one steamy night for the two hobbits.  
  
"You're right. You know I don't know what I would do if you weren't here to help me. I mean, Frodo hasn't lifted one finger helping me plan this wedding." Sam sighed, in resignation.  
  
"No problem. I have a knack for these things." Legolas said nonchalantly, and proceeded to brush his hair.  
  
"So how's the planning going?" A voice asked from the doorway. Legolas and Sam looked up to see Aragorn standing against the door. He strode over, and fell onto the sofa with Legolas and Galáril. Looking up at Sam lazily he asked,  
  
"Where's Frumpy?"  
  
Sam gritted his teeth as he thought of the way Frodo had betrayed him today.  
  
"Well I sent him out to go pick up the invitations FOUR HOURS AGO, but he still hasn't come back." Sam said angrily. Aragorn gave a sympathetic smile, and put an arm around Legolas.  
  
"That's too bad, let's just hope he hasn't run off with someone." He said lazily. Legolas and Sam stared at him in disbelief and Aragorn shrugged.  
  
"What? I was just joking." Legolas shook his head, and turned back to Sam.  
  
"I'm sure he'll be along sh-"  
  
"I'm home." A tinny voice called from the hallway. Sam got up out of his chair and dashed in to meet Frodo. Legolas and Aragorn exchanged looks as they heard the shouts coming from the hallway, and occasionally had to cover Galáril's ears, to protect him from the excessive cursing going on. Finally, Sam stalked back in, followed by a humble Frodo.  
  
"Sorry I took so long." Frodo offered half-heartedly. Legolas nodded, and motioned for him to sit down.  
  
"Now about the colour scheme Frodo." Legolas began.  
  
"No, wait........I have something to tell you." Frodo interrupted. Sam looked up in surprise and confusion. Legolas looked knowingly at Aragorn, and Galáril stopped giggling.  
  
***WHAT WILL HAPPEN.......I don't know I haven't decided yet.......just needed a way to end the chapter....I'm open to suggestions though......and feel free to review......especially if you reviewed on June 4th and it got deleted.*** 


	26. Frumpy Rebels

***You're probably sick of my apologizing for being late, so I won't waste your time with it......but I MUST SAY that I'm sick of the stupid errors....it simply would not let me upload the story!!!!!..on a happier note, only 11 more reviews till somebody wins!!!!!!! So review.....and tell me what you want to happen...especially baby names because as you know Galáril does NOT have a middle name yet......and I would *really* appreciate it if someone could think of one. Thanx......***  
  
"Well, what is it?" Sam asked impatiently, tapping his foot. Frodo took a big gulp and looked at his fiancé, and then Aragorn and Legolas who were also looking at him expectantly.  
  
"Mmmph Shim Shsy." He mumbled.  
  
"Your name is Shim Shay?" Sam asked in puzzlement. Frodo glared at him and cleared his throat.  
  
"I'm gay."  
  
The other three inhabitants of the room stared hard (not that way all u pervs out there) at Frodo, trying to decipher whether or not he was trying desperately to crack a joke, before Legolas started laughing, infecting all of them with it until Aragorn lay on the floor howling with laughter, Sam next to him holding his side, and Legolas laughed daintly, sitting on the sofa in his usual calm and composed manner.  
  
"Uh, Frodo?" Legolas asked, trying to suppress a smile.  
  
"What?" Frodo asked miserably.  
  
"We already know you're gay. After all you ARE marrying Sam, who is also male." Legolas said softly, trying not to hurt the little hobbits feelings. Aragorn however, obviously did not have Frodo's feelings at mind.  
  
"Oh. Right." Frodo said sadly.  
  
"Stupid Frumpy, tell us something we *don't* know. Even *I'm* not that stupid." Aragorn laughed. Sam, now somewhat composed, got up off the floor and walked over to Frodo.  
  
"Are you sure you're just not scared of commitment?" Sam asked Frodo. Frodo shrank away from Sam's touch, and sat down on a chair.  
  
"No, I love you. I don't want to be with anyone else, I don't think I've ever felt the same way about anyone else. But-"  
  
"Oh Frodo that's so sweet..." Sam said basking in the pretty words, "wait a minute.....did I hear a but?"  
  
"Yes, I was trying to sa-" Frodo began, but trailed off seeing Sam's deathly stare.  
  
"You mean that you didn't mean anything that you just said. Are you disregarding all of it? I can't believe this.........you are a sick SICK hobbit Frodo, playing with me this way. I can-"  
  
"WILL YOU LET ME SPEAK?!" Frodo yelled suddenly. Sam looked taken aback, but was silent.  
  
"That's exactly what I mean.", "Frodo said, "You never let me get a word in edgewise. I don't get to plan, or do anything else. You think I'm just a stupid idiot. And then you go as far as to blame me for not helping, when you never let me......"  
  
"Are you done?" Sam asked solemnly, now that he was out of the initial shocked silent stage.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, I suppose you're right."  
  
"What?" Frodo asked, his voice trembling. After saying all that he had expected Sam to go haywire.  
  
"You're right. I never should have done that. You have every right to be involved in the planning of this wedding, and I understand why you feel the way you do. From now on you can help in everything." Sam said reasonably. Frodo stared in disbelief for a moment, and then spoke, his voice thick with tears.  
  
"Oh Sam, I really love you, I do. I don't know what I would do if you weren't with me. This is going to be great."  
  
"Only because you're part of it." Sam said adoringly, and hugged Frodo tightly to his chest. Legolas picked up Galáril, and nudged for Aragorn to follow him out of the room.  
  
"Aren't they such a cute couple?" Legolas sighed happily, once they were in the hallway.  
  
"Yeah, but we are too." Aragorn said suggestively.  
  
And so Galáril was put back to bed early and the night was filled with kinky make up sex.  
  
I should get in more fights.  
  
***Next stop and we're at the wedding, so bring your dancing shoes ppl........and don't forget to review........oh....and I need suggestions for what wedding gifts they should get.....not for next chapter but one after it....see ya l8r*** 


	27. Surprise Surprise!

***This is a pretty quick chapter.....but nonetheless an important one.....hope you like it, and don't forget to review...no prize winner as of today......***  
  
"I don't know Legolas, I don't think Sam will be too crazy about this." Frodo said nervously, as Legolas whispered his plan.  
  
"Nonsense," clucked Legolas, "He'll like it just fine, you just don't know what a wom- er....*life partner* wants. A relationship blossoms with surprises. Now, are you ready to do this or not?" he demanded.  
  
"I guess so." Frodo answered reluctantly.  
  
"You guess what?" Frodo and Legolas' heads snapped up and saw Sam lounging in the door way with some flowers in his hands.  
  
"Uh..,,,,,,,,,,,,nothing Sam." Frodo replied quickly. Legolas rolled his eyes at Frodo's guilt, and decided he better do something before Frodo spilled the beans.  
  
"So, what's that Sam?" Legolas asked casually.  
  
"They're the samples for the flower arrangements. What do you think?" Sam asked eagerly. Legolas shrugged, and fingered the flowers with his slender hands.  
  
"They're okay." He answered nonchalantly. Sam's eager smile wilted like Aragorn when he hasn't sucked someone's toes.  
  
"You.....you don't like them?" Sam asked in a small voice. Legolas shrugged again, kicking himself inwardly. He knew how much Sam thought of his opinion. But he needed something for Sam to focus on, so he wouldn't notice the change in Frodo.  
  
"I think they're great." Frodo piped in from where he sat in the corner. Sam turned and smiled tearfully at Frodo.  
  
"Thank you honey. Well, I have the invitations, and no better time than now I suppose." Sam said, and began to dig in his purse(yes I mean THAT kind of purse), and pulled out some creamy white envelopes. He handed them over silently to Legolas, watching him carefully.  
  
"Wow....these are beautiful." Legolas exclaimed, unable to help himself. But it was true. The invitations were printed on white linen and had gold cursive hand on them. They were absolutely stunning.  
  
"Thank you." Sam said beaming happily again. Legolas sensed the danger in this and quickly set about to fix his err.  
  
"I mean, for such a *quaint* occasion. I suppose they'll do.......but don't you worry Sam, Frodo will help you plan it ALL out." And leaving Sam with this resting on his shoulders, Legolas sashayed out of the room.  
  
"Hey beautiful." Legolas whirled around and saw Aragorn leaning against the banister.  
  
"Hello there." Legolas replied with a grin.  
  
"What ya doin?" Aragorn asked, putting an arm around Legolas.  
  
"Not much, just tormenting Sam." Legolas answered casually. Aragorn stared at his lover for a moment and then laughed.  
  
"Yeah, I can picture you doing a good job with that. So.....what are we getting them for the wedding?"  
  
"I don't know." Legolas answered distractedly, with a frown. "Sometimes I think maybe we should just give them some crockery........but they ARE special friends."  
  
"You know, I think I know the perfect gift." Aragorn said slyly. Legolas pushed him away and studied his face.  
  
"What are you up to Aragorn?"  
  
"You'll see. Just leave it up to me."  
  
*** Oooohhh......so many secrets brewing......hmmmmmmmmmmm....well don't expect too much more any time soon, I have exams all this week and the new Harry Potter book comes out.....so I'll be writing mainly Harry fics then. Well......don't forget to review.....and read the new Harry Potter book.*** 


	28. Sleepy Husbands

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anybody except the baby......HE"S MINE....ALL MINE....well anyway as far as I know no one has one the contest yet.....but I haven't checked the review number yet.....so I'll do that and update you guys on it soon....hope you like the chapter..  
  
"Aragorn?" Legolas asked drowsily, as he lay in his husband's arms. It had been one ravishing night, and both of them were exhausted.  
  
"Mm?"  
  
"What's your idea for Sam and Frodo's gift?" Legolas asked quickly. Aragorn groaned and turned away from Legolas.  
  
"Shtump ghryin thoashk mechat." Aragorn grumbled into his pillow.  
  
"What?" Legolas asked in puzzlement.  
  
"Stop springing it on me, I'm NOT going to tell you. It's a surprise. You know those things that are surprising." Aragorn said, now cranky that he had lost the nice warm sleepy feeling he had had only moments before.  
  
"I just want to know so we won't be embarrassed.......why won't you tell me?" Legolas pouted most adorably. Aragorn averted his eyes from Legolas protruding lower lip to keep from melting.  
  
"Don't worry about it.....when the time comes you'll know........hey, Legolas?" Aragorn asked quickly to change the subject.  
  
"Yeah." The blonde elf answered, still sulking.  
  
"Whatever happened to the ring?" Aragorn asked curiously. Legolas sighed and began to examine his nails.  
  
"Darling you are SO behind on things. We found that a loooooooooong time ago." Legolas said, now picking at what suspiciously looked like the beginnings of a hangnail.  
  
"But when?" Aragorn persisted.  
  
"Um....I think it was right about when you had just gone through labour......and then you were asleep." Legolas said nonchalantly, now assured that it was NOT a hangnail.  
  
"WHAT?! What happened?"  
  
"Oh it turns out that Gimli ate it by mistake, and Elrond found it.......don't ask...." Legolas said, rolling his eyes when Aragorn opened his mouth to ask exactly *what* Elrond had been doing, "You know Elrond. Anyway it turned out that the ring had given up inside of Gimli, and we didn't have to destroy it after all."  
  
"But what about Sauron, wasn't his life force bound to the ring. He must have felt what it was like inside of Gimli."  
  
"Yeah," giggled Legolas, "all I can say is that he's going to be having nightmares for a while." All of a sudden there was a cry from the other room, and Legolas wearily got out of bed to go comfort his son, leaving Aragorn in bed to reflect on what he had heard.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sam lay quietly on his side of the bed, feigning sleep while Frodo snored noisily beside him. He thought about the upcoming wedding, and the familiar nervousness overtook him again. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do.  
  
"Frodo." He whispered, and shook his fellow hobbit, who continued to snore.  
  
"FRODO!" Sam hissed louder, and gave him a sharp poke in the ribs.  
  
"Wha- I'm awake....what is it?" Frodo asked sleepily.  
  
"Let's elope."  
  
****Oooooohh....well sorry it took so long....but I was sick for a while....and I would just like to take this time to acknowledge that the new Harry Potter book is so wicked....and congrats to J.K Rowling for making such an obscene amount of money off it.......well don't forget to review and I'll update soon!**** 


	29. A Letter of Apology

***This has taken *quite* a turn, I never thought the story would be this long but everyone seems to like it so I don't see a reason to stop.....though I am open to suggestions.......I am a man....er...woman of the people, feel free to tell me anything......and I still need a middle name.....***  
  
"ARAGORN!"  
  
Aragorn bolted awake and jumped to his feet, looking around quickly to make sure the two most important things were OK; Legolas and Galáril. He ran into the nursery and saw that Galáril had slept through the ruckus. He was just about to run into the kitchen to look for Legolas when he heard it again.  
  
"Aragorn get your ass over here!" Aragorn bolted to Sam and Frodo's room where the screaming had come from. As soon as he entered the doorway, a weeping blonde thing launched at him. Aragorn looked down in confusion and patted Legolas' back awkwardly.  
  
"What is it? What happened?" Aragorn asked. Legolas looked up at him and then began to weep even harder, and Aragorn attempted to decipher exactly what it was he was saying in between the sobbing.  
  
"It- it- it's soooo horrible.....they-what the hell were they thinking......WHY?!" Legolas cried. Aragorn took a deep breath and put a hand over a very surprised Legolas' mouth.  
  
"OK....calm down, take a deep breath and tell me exactly what it is that you are babbling about." Aragorn said firmly. Legolas' face darkened a little at the word 'babbling' but he did as he was told.  
  
"I came in this morning to see if Sam fancied some blueberry muffins and there was no one here. Of course I'm not one to panic-Oh shut up..." Legolas said pausing as Aragorn threw him a doubtful look, "Anyway I searched everywhere before I began to panic. That's when I found this....." Here Legolas reached down and picked up a creamy coloured envelope and handed it over to Aragorn, who in turn opened it and began to read.  
  
The letter was addressed to Legolas, and was written in Sam's hand.  
  
Dearest Legolas,  
  
You have been such a comfort and a true friend in times of trial, which is making it even harder for me to tell you this....but you must be told, I don't want you to worry or find out from someone else.  
  
Frodo and I have eloped.  
  
I know what you're thinking now, 'how could we be so stupid?' right? But in truth the stress is really getting to me....I don't know if I can take much more of it. So I've gone, I won't tell you where for fear of you trying to change my mind, but I will tell you this.  
  
You are my very best friend, and I want to thank you for all the effort you put forward, and I'm truly sorry for all the trouble I have caused.  
  
Sam  
  
Aragorn looked up slowly from the letter and shrugged at a seething Legolas.  
  
"Well there isn't much that we can do now is there?" Aragorn said easily. Legolas glared at Aragorn.  
  
"Just you wait and see. We are going to find them even if it kills us......."  
  
"Uh.....we?"  
  
"What you don't think we're a team, you think you're *better* then me? Let me tell you something Aragorn, I was a perfectly happy and free elf before you came along and knocked me---wait a minute I knocked you up......either way you ruined me. You-"  
  
"OK OK" Aragorn said crossly, "I'll go then."  
  
"Fine then it's settled, we'll leave right away." Legolas said, sounding satisfied.  
  
"No need," Aragorn and Legolas jumped at the sound of a voice behind them, "We came back."  
  
***Well we are VERY close to having a winner so I hope that everyone reviews and I don't have to go and stalk people at night.*** 


	30. Hugs and Kisses

Ok sweeties it's time I stuck in a bit a the old answering of the....*beams in happiness* FAN MAIL......Yes it is true I have FINALLY gotten to it SO LOOK FOR YOUR NAMES!!!!!!! Sniff sniff ......I love you all.....now let's get down to business....for all of you that have questions about the story I shall now answer them and feel free to continue writing questions.......plz don't think that I simply ignore them.......I've just been waiting for a pause in the story.....that pause has come.....well I better get started,  
  
**Izzykit**: Thank you so much for your unwavering support.....and I love the first name you supplied so there is no reason I would not use your middle name....after all no one has really given any suggestions.....HINT HINT  
  
**Steph**: Honey....first of all Viggo Mortenson is not Aragorn....I mean I don't own Aragorn however I do own Viggo.....I keep him locked up in a little cage in my room....tell me if you wanna come over and see him some time...he's very tame. Anyway Aragorn isn't really being mean to Legolas....they have their mushy little moments....it's just that I want to show how different they are and how despite those differences they can still get along....BUT if you still believe that Aragorn is overly mean to the as you so daintly put it "elf boy" I will.....sigh......*try* to tone it down a bit but only because I love you and your reviews. And just for the record, even though my family seems to think I've outgrown it......HARRY POTTER RULES!  
  
**Saera**: I really like your name.......it'll probably show up in one of my upcoming chapters.....thank you for taking the time to review  
  
**Carromenien da elf** sorry if I spelled your name wrong...i'm sleepy......yes I agree with you I AM spiffy...hehehe....just joking....(though I really am spiffy).....the names you have concocted are also very spiffy.....and I forgive you for not reviewing until now....though.....i have noticed that......hem hem....you haven't bothered to review again.....though I am willing to overlook that  
  
**Sylver Phantasy** NO the hobbits most certainly should not.....though I am rather angry at your suggestion about what happened to the ring because that is exactly what I was intending to happen.....what I wanna know is how YOU found out  
  
**electric one** what do you mean way to like the other ones??????????sniff sniff I thought I was all original this time and yes Aragorn is way to caught up in the manliness thing *glares at Aragorn*  
  
** Moro the wolf god** Awwww thank you for reviewing......your short yet inspiring reviews are part of what help me get out of bed in the morning......er....that came out a little perverted and old mannish....erm..thanks anyway  
  
**Skyler** barrowdowns.net doesn't seem to be working for me....i just can't get to the site.....but thanx for the suggestion  
  
**Leviathan** thank you for supporting on the whole killing off of Arwen thing...anyway I really miss your reviews....wink wink......nudge nudge.....hint hint....  
  
**Amy** Yes it is true that Arwen is....um...*was* an ungrateful wretch....and don't you forget it honey...  
  
**f** ok you are really creepy  
  
**Zhou** Yes I also like Arwen this way.....and you know how you were saying people are always portraying her as a nice person........she isn't and you were very smart to pick that up...  
  
**C** Yeah I know I like it better when Aragorn is carrying too.....and thank you for the lil correction....I was sleep and caffeine deprived as I wrote the first ten or twenty chapters  
  
**Sam** No the fic is NOT stupid and I'm not going to let you rain on my happy little gay hobbit parade....  
  
**Crystal Tiger** Yes it is rather funny isn't it?  
  
**Darth Yak** Er..ok there  
  
** Lady Lena** Don't worry you're not alone.....I also am frighteningly obsessed with mpregs... 


	31. Legolas' Revenge

***Tried to put this chapter up as soon as possible....but don't get your expectations to high.....cause I don't know where I'll find the time to write the next few chapters.....anyway hope you like this one....***  
  
"You." Legolas hissed, his slender hand pointing one daunting finger, "How could you?!" He screeched, and prepared to launch himself against the little hobbit, when Aragorn grabbed him around the waist and held him back.  
  
"Run into your room Frumpy, and stay there until I calm him down." Aragorn yelled, and yelped when Legolas savagely bit his arm.  
  
"Let me at em." Legolas cried angrily.  
  
Frodo grabbed Sam's hand and ran into their room, locking the door behind them. They heard shouting for upwards of two or three hours, and when it finally died down, they heard a knock on the door.  
  
"Who is it?" Sam called out fearfully.  
  
"It's me." Legolas answered wearily.  
  
"Who's me?" Sam asked suspiciously.  
  
"Me, Legolas, the person who OWNS this house." Legolas answered crossly. Aragorn made a small coughlike noise, and Legolas turned slowly and looked at him. "What?"  
  
"Well, you know, technically the house belongs to me- I mean ummm...*us*.....OK I'll shut up now." Aragorn whispered when Legolas threw him an icy glare.  
  
"Open the door already will you?" Legolas asked huffily. He waited somewhat patiently as he watched the door slowly open and a small face appear somewhere near his knees.  
  
"Come on in." Frodo said rather unenthusiastically.  
  
"Great." Legolas said and pushed past Frodo into the room, and scanned the room until his sharp eyes locked onto a little lump of blankets on the bed. Legolas took two swift strides towards the bed, and pulled off the blankets, revealing a trembling ball of hobbit.  
  
"Sam." Legolas said grimly. Sam peeked up at Legolas, gave a frightened cry and buried his head beneath his arms again. Frodo gave a sigh from the doorway and came over to comfort Sam.  
  
"There there Sam....it'll be OK." Frodo said in a tone that plainly indicated that it was NOT going to be OK, and Sam had better get his little hobbit head up here and own up to all this crap.  
  
"I'm sorry Legolas." Sam whimpered. Legolas gaze softened considerably and he felt ashamed about the way he had acted before.  
  
"I'm sorry too Sam, not only for yelling at you....and trying to rip your eyes out and crush them to a jelly-like material....."  
  
"You what?" Sam asked. Legolas ignored him and continued in a louder voice.  
  
"But because you felt that I was such a bad person that you had to elope to get away from me." Legolas finished. Sam felt tears well up in his eyes and he began to wail so loudly that Galáril woke up and began to cry in the other room. Aragorn and Legolas passed a look at each other, and Aragorn quietly slipped out to go comfort his son.  
  
"I'm s-sorry Legolasssssssssss....." Sam stammered, tears gushing down his face. Legolas sighed, and took Sam into an embrace.  
  
"It's OK, but I hope you know if you ever do anything like that again, I'll have to kill you." Legolas said calmly. Sam nodded, giving Legolas an odd look. He was glad to have his friend back and get on with the whole marriage thing.  
  
"Oh and by the way," Legolas added as he left the room, "The wedding is tomorrow."  
  
***Well god knows when I'll have time to write about the wedding......hope it'll be soon.....but you never know.....and only 5 more reviews left till we have a winner!!!!!!!!!*** 


	32. A wedding of Huge Proportions

***Carromenien da elf has won the contest review......if she could kindly contact me via reviewing....hehehe....she can learn how to claim her prize.....plz leave ur e-mail address......well hope everybody likes the chapter...it took a while to write so you better***  
  
"Sam." Legolas called, and rapped on the door in irritation. "Hurry up, we only have 15 minutes before the flower girls start entering and there's the rose petal entrance."  
  
Sam looked at himself one last time in the mirror and beamed at his reflection, the outfit was absolutely smashing. He touched up a little corner by his ear, with some foundation, took a deep breath and then opened the door, stunning the elf who stood behind it.  
  
"Well- you look......wow." Legolas said blinking a few times at the sight of the bright pink, lace and ruffles.  
  
"You really like it?" Sam asked happily. Legolas tilted his head a little and managed to nod, causing Sam's grin to grow even bigger.  
  
"Legolas, come on." Aragorn started, and then stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Sam.  
  
"What do you think Aragorn?" Sam asked, this time a little nervously. Aragorn looked at Legolas who shot him a warning look and then back at the hobbit.  
  
"It looks.....good. But-" Aragorn hesitated for a moment, wondering whether Legolas' wrath was worth quenching his curiosity. In the end, his curiosity won.  
  
"But what?" Sam asked fearfully. Legolas shot Aragorn another look, and if looks could kill, Aragorn would be nothing but ashes.  
  
"But....uh.....that's a dress." Aragorn said, and was brave enough to glance at Legolas who to his surprise was wearing an expression of amusement.  
  
"Oh......that.....you had me scared silly." Sam laughed, and Aragorn and Legolas exchanged confused looks, "It'll match Frodo's white and pink tux."  
  
"Whatever rocks you honey." Legolas said shrugging, " Now let's get a move on it, or you'll miss the entrance."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Frodo nervously stood at the altar, waiting for Sam. He had been fidgeting but a strict admonish from Elrond had been the end of that. However, Frodo reflected, he could start again, as Elrond an Gandalf were already busy necking at the front of the room anyway, and noticed little but each other. Suddenly the first chords of music struck and Frodo turned to see a bunch of little elven girls walk out strewing flowers everywhere. Then suddenly, through a downpour of rose petals, he saw Sam emerge. Frodo stood hypnotized by the scene in front of him, obviously very in love with the blushing bride, who was the source of many a whisper amongst the guests.  
  
"Hem hem." Legolas cleared his throat, trying to subtly get Elrond's attention. It didn't work.  
  
"Hey, can you satisfy your booty calls later guys?" Legolas snapped and shoved a very reluctant Elrond to the stand.  
  
"Yeah yeah I'm going...." Elrond grumbled, and pasted on a very phoney smile to look out at the guest with.  
  
"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today........Hell......let's just get to the real part of it." Elrond said reasonably. A few guests gasped and Sam had a look of outrage on his face, but Elrond ignored them, and continued on with the ceremony.  
  
"Ok, time for the vows, repeat after me Frodo-" Elrond began.  
  
"Excuse me." Frodo peeped in. Elrond paused and glared down at the trembling little hobbit.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I..I've written my own vows." Frodo said softly throwing a look at Legolas who nodded encouragingly. It had taken a long time to convince Frodo to make them, and Legolas had done a lot of the writing but it had clearly worked a charm. Sam broke out in a grin again and tears filled his eyes.  
  
"Thank you Frodo." He whispered, beneath the veil.  
  
"OK then, seeing as somebody thinks they can make up vows better then those of the ELVES....let's hear them." Elrond said crossly. Legolas nudged him sharply with his elbow and Elrond started.  
  
"What?" he asked defensively.  
  
"You've been drinking Aragorn's homemade wine again haven't you?" Legolas accused with slitted eyes. Elrond began to protest.  
  
"NO! I didn't.....OK then," he said shrugging, "I did, sue me." Legolas just sighed and gestured for Frodo to begin. After clearing his throat and giving a nervous laugh which in all truth was more than a little creepy, Frodo began to read  
  
"Sam, before another word is said, I want you to be sure of my love for you." Frodo paused and looked into Sam's eyes, "I will always love you, be there to hold you, and care for you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, and I look forward to spending each and every day of my life with you." He recited. Sam burst into tears, as did Legolas who threw himself at a very stunned Aragorn and Galáril. Galáril looked up at his father oddly and giggled when Legolas bent down to kiss him, and take him from Aragorn's arms.  
  
After Sam had said his vows, there was an awkward silence before Elrond spoke again.  
  
"I now pronounce you husband and hu- actually...." Elrond said grinning maliciously looking at Sam's frilly dress, "husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."  
  
Frodo grabbed Sam and dipped him back in a kiss, much to the amazement and disgust of all. Out burst the happy couple, and the guests followed, leaving Elrond and Gandalf back at it on the pews, and Aragorn and Legolas standing at the doorway.  
  
"How romantic." Legolas sighed, absentmindedly playing with Galáril's hair. Aragorn smiled slyly and reached for his husband's firm bottom.  
  
"I can be romantic too." He said, and Legolas smiled back.  
  
"I'm sure you can. Aragorn?" Legolas suddenly asked. Aragorn reluctantly stopped kissing the elf and stepped back.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What are you giving them?" Legolas asked curiously. Aragorn just sighed and began to walk back to their home.  
  
"You'll see in a little while."  
  
*** Not my best chapter but a VERY long one.....I do believe it may be my longest.....well it's getting late so I better leave....oh yes and don't forget to review.*** 


	33. Aragorn's Gift

***Another rather long chapter, all revolving around a scene that shouldn't be too long, but I suppose I got carried away, and as a response to some disparaging reviews towards Harry Potter all I can say is....HARRY POTTER RULES!!!!....but LOTR is better, and that's the truth***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sam, Frodo, Aragorn, or Legolas however I did read an excellent story by Cheysuli in which Frodo and Sam have control over Legolas...poor baby, well anyway I am NOT Sam or Frodo (thank God), so I don't own them....or Pippin and Merry, who will also come into play later on...  
  
"I can't believe this is really happening, it all seems like such a dream." Sam said dazedly, reaching for his suitcases. Frodo sighed and nodded, picking up Sam's shoulder bag.  
  
"Yeah, except you don't wake up." Frodo said somewhat regretfully, but his wallowing was gone unnoticed by Sam who was happy enough for the both of them.  
  
"There all packed and ready to go. I still wish we could have gone to Gondor for our honeymoon, but I suppose it'll be nice to visit the Shire again." Sam said sadly. Frodo nodded again, and they headed for the door where a very exhausted Legolas and exuberant Aragorn greeted them.  
  
"All ready to go?" Legolas asked, his eyelids drooping, then widening, as he saw the amount of bags they had, "Planning to stay long are you?" he asked, raising one delicately arched eyebrow. Frodo shrugged, looking back at the luggage.  
  
"Two weeks. Sam wanted to bring his entire wardrobe but we didn't have enough suitcases."  
  
"Well you better come back or you won't be able to put out gift to use." Aragorn said, catching Legolas' now very wide eye.  
  
"Oh, Aragorn....Legolas you guys really shouldn't have." Sam said, but from the look on his face it was obvious they should have. Aragorn grinned and told them he would be right back. A few minutes later he came back holding a sheaf of papers in his hands.  
  
"Here." Aragorn handed Sam the papers, and then after a moment's hesitation ruffled Frodo's hair.  
  
"Enjoy Frumpy."  
  
"FRODO!" Frodo yelled in irritation, "I know you know what my name is, why do you keep calling me that?" He demanded angrily, but Aragorn remained unfazed by this uncharacteristic outburst.  
  
"Whatever you say Frumpy." He smiled indulgently. Frodo sighed and fumed while Legolas whipped around, eyes slitted.  
  
"You gave them *paper*?" He hissed.  
  
"No....I gave them-"  
  
"OH MY GOD!" All three of them jumped at Sam's shriek of girlish happiness.  
  
"What is it?" Legolas asked quickly, "Whatever it is I'm sorry ......Aragorn is well, you know Aragorn."  
  
"Hey! What is that supposed to mean?" Aragorn demanded.  
  
"NO!" Once again everyone jumped and this time turned back to Sam and actually listened to him.  
  
"Do you realize what this is Frodo?" Sam asked, nearing tears.  
  
"What?" Frodo asked curiously.  
  
"It's the deed to this house. Aragorn gave it to us."  
  
"WHAT?!" Sam and Aragorn turned to look at Frodo, before they realized it was Legolas who had spoken.  
  
"You what?" Legolas asked incredulously, now very pale, and that was saying a lot for the blonde elf.  
  
"I gave them our house." Aragorn said joyfully. Legolas just stared at him.  
  
"But-but h-how could you do that? W-where will we live?" Legolas sputtered.  
  
"Ah but that's the beauty of it my love." Aragorn put an arm around a very angry Legolas and attempted to comfort him.  
  
"We have a new house."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"W-e h-a-v-e a n-e-w h-o-u-s-e." Aragorn said slowly.  
  
"I *know* that," Legolas said in frustration, "I mean what do you think you were doing giving away our house without consulting me."  
  
"It's just that we have our son, and who knows maybe others on the way." Aragorn said slyly, "And Frumpy will probably wanna have little fatties too." Aragorn continued louder over Frodo's protests, "We were going to have to split up eventually, and you'll love our new house. It's Elrond's house."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Oh, he's decided to move in with Gandalf, they're going to go on some kind of tour thingy, and after that settle down in Mirkwood."  
  
"Oh Aragorn, I've always loved Elrond's house. That was so thoughtful of you." Legolas said, very deeply touched. And with that he pulled Aragorn into a very deep smouldering kiss. Sam winked at Frodo and lugging their bags behind them they quietly stepped out leaving the two lovers standing in the moonlight by themselves.  
  
***My hands are cramped from writing long chapters, I hope y'all are grateful...anyways, still no response from my winner, if it remains this way, I'm afraid I'll have to give away the prize to someone else...well...either way I hope you review...*** 


	34. IMPORTANT!

I hate to put a note in the story but I feel right now it's necessary...OK people the time has come, the future of 'Among Other Things' lies in your hands.  
  
Your decision could mean...sniff sniff..the end of the story!  
  
I have two choices facing me at this point and time. I can do one of two things:  
  
*******  
  
End the story in the next chapter, fast tracking a bit.  
  
Continue through either Sam or Frodo's pregnancies and wait till there are little Frumpies and Fatties.....  
  
*******  
  
Well those are the two choices and I am totally at loss for what to do. Even if you have never reviewed before, I strongly urge you to do so now, because until my lovely readers come to a consensus, I cannot churn out any more chapters...well hope to hear from you soon.....  
  
***Oh yeah, I forgot......some of you may have noticed that I've changed my name to Tarnished Silver, then again some of you may not have known what my pen name was before, either way, I'd just like to tell you ahead of time that I'm probably going to be changing it again....so don't be alarmed if my name is no longer on your favourites list (lol who am I kidding.....I don't think ANYBODY put me on their favourite's list........but for those who did.....thank you thank you thank you)*** 


	35. Annulments Galore

***As you can see I have decided to keep writing, I have some really different chapters planned ahead, and it's about to really get rated R.....so be forewarned. Anyway this is a pretty long chapter so you should like it..be sure to review***  
  
"Excuse me, but what is it exactly that you think you're doing?" Aragorn looked up and saw a tall blonde figure towering above him, with a little toddler in his arms.  
  
"Eating lunch, it's rather good darling, you've truly outdone yourself." Aragorn said happily munching away on a mouthful of butter tarts.  
  
"You just don't get it do you?" Legolas hissed, "That food was not for you it was for a bake sale."  
  
"Well why didn't you say so in the first place." Aragorn retorted as he polished off the remains of the tarts. Legolas turned a rather nasty shade of eggplanty purple, and slammed his fist on the table.  
  
"I did tell you!" yelled Legolas, upsetting the little Galáril in his arms who hid his face in his father's shoulder.  
  
"No darling, I'm sure I would have remembered if you'd told me." Aragorn said easily, getting up from the chair to stretch, and was stunned when Legolas shoved him back down.  
  
"I told you at least five times this week, and then a good three times this morning. You even agreed to take care of Galáril while I dropped it off. It just proves that you never listen to anything I said. " Legolas said angrily. Aragorn shrugged and squirmed a little in his seat.  
  
"No, not necessarily. It could just mean that I was a little er...*drunk* this morning." He mumbled.  
  
"Drunk?" Legolas asked incredulously.  
  
"Erm...it's my birthday?" Aragorn offered weakly. Legolas simply continued glowering at him, and shifted the toddler in his arms.  
  
"You know very well it isn't your birthday for another 4 months." Legolas said icily.  
  
"Well you knew my habits when you married me." Aragorn said sharply.  
  
"Yes I did and I was a fool to ever marry you. God knows why I ever did." Legolas shot back.  
  
"Hmmm, I wonder," Aragorn said sarcastically, "Could it be because YOU KNOCKED ME UP!"  
  
"Well then get a divorce!" Legolas said heatedly, though he paled considerably as he realised the words that had come out of his mouth. Aragorn however was still engrossed in the argument.  
  
"Even better I want an annulment." Aragorn topped. Colour came back to Legolas' face as he stared at his husband in disgust.  
  
"We can't get an annulment you idiot, if we could, Galáril wouldn't be here, and I never would have been stuck with a fool like you." Legolas said, not bothering to feign the regret in his voice.  
  
"SO JUST KILL ME WHY DON'T YOU?!" Aragorn roared, causing little Galáril who had done his best to block out the argument to lift his head sharply.  
  
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" The cry brought both Legolas and Aragorn back to earth and each forgot everything and began to comfort their son.  
  
"Oh sweety don't cry, daddy will make it up to you. Today we'll go buy some toys." Aragorn soothed, while Legolas rocked the child, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear. When the boy's eyes began to droop, they both broke off and looked up at each other.  
  
"Guess we have something in common after all." Aragorn said wryly. Legolas nodded, looking down at his son, before he spoke.  
  
"You know, I may have overreacted a little Aragorn, I'm sorry. It's just that with the stress of moving, and Galáril teething, I just don't know what to do anymore. Anyways, after over 2000 years of freedom I'm finally tied down to something." Legolas said softly.  
  
"I know what you mean. I'm sorry too." Aragorn nodded in understanding, and put his arm around Legolas' shoulder.  
  
"But you know what Aragorn?" Legolas asked, leaning his head on Aragorn's broad shoulder.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't know any two people I would rather be tied to."  
  
"Same here doll."  
  
"Did you just call me doll?" Legolas said, a giggle rising.  
  
"Uh...no....I called you....erm.....OK so I called you doll, big deal." Aragorn confessed. Legolas just smiled and pushed his husband back into the kitchen.  
  
"Come on, we have to get to work."  
  
"Work?" Aragorn asked in confusion.  
  
"Yeah, we gotta make up for those butter tarts you made up don't we?" Legolas said innocently and dragged his husband towards the cupboard.  
  
"Awwww...."  
  
~THREE HOURS AND A HELLUVA LOTTA FLOUR LATER~  
  
"Meleth?" Aragorn asked slumped against the counter.  
  
"Mmm?" Legolas turned from where he had set the pan to cool and turned to look at Aragron, and began to laugh.  
  
"It's not funny." Aragorn said indignantly. He was covered head to toe in flour and had some filling in his hair.  
  
"Yes it is." Legolas managed between his laughter, "How on earth did you get that way when you didn't even make anything?" He looked down at his own spotless clothing and then back to Aragorn.  
  
"So I'm not as good as Fatty in the kitchen." Aragorn said defensively.  
  
"Don't worry, I still love you honey." Legolas said draping his arms around his husband.  
  
"Hm, maybe I should clean off." Aragorn sniffed.  
  
"You, want to be clean?" Legolas asked in shock. Aragorn sighed, and pulled his husband out of the kitchen.  
  
"No, but I do wanna get YOU naked, and I'm willing to sacrifice a lot for that."  
  
"Then what are we waiting for?"  
  
***Whew! That was long, but not as good as I may have hoped. Well for all you Frumpy lovers, we are going to visit Sam, Frodo, Pippin, Merry, and a surprise guest in the next chapter.....so be sure to review*** 


	36. Making out Like it's 1999

***This one's about Sam and Frodo, with a bit of Pippin and Merry thrown in.....hope you like it***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, but that doesn't stop me from passing judgement....and Rosie is a WHORE....ok I'm done  
  
"Sam, are you sure you want to meet her?" Frodo asked nervously, wringing a pair of short pants in his hands. Sam looked up from where he was meticulously plucking eyebrow hairs.  
  
"Of course darling. Hmmm, do you think I still look bushy?" Sam asked, furrowing his brow. Frodo glanced over and shook his head.  
  
"Never plucked for me." Frodo muttered under his breath.  
  
"What was that?" Sam called. Frodo jumped, startled that his husband had heard him from across the room.  
  
"N-nothing." Frodo said, and then added again under his breath, "Haven't had decent sex since we got here, all cause of HER, yeah *sure* she's JUST a friend. Friend my hairy ass."  
  
"Frodo stop muttering and put on your pants, she should be here any moment." Sam said distractedly. Frodo nodded, and hunched his shoulders over as he pulled on his pants.  
  
"I still don't see why we have to ruin our honeymoon by seeing *her*." Frodo muttered, then jumped when he felt Sam's hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Don't be jealous darling. It isn't very becoming." Sam said indulgently, and then turned as he heard the doorbell ring. "That must be her now."  
  
"Oh yeah, forget about me." Frodo said angrily. Sam just shrugged and opened the door.  
  
"Hi....oh it's you." He said wearily.  
  
"Now that's not very nice, now is it Pip?" Merry asked. Pippin shook his head with a mischievous glint in his eye.  
  
"Oh Pip." Merry said breathily, "You know I can't stand it when you have that glint in your eye."  
  
And with that, Merry jumped on Pippin and they began to make out like it was 1999. Sam looked at Frodo pointedly with that, get-your-stupid-impolite- gay-friends-off-my-clean-floor-or-you'll-pay look, Frodo just shrugged and began to chant happily.  
  
"Stupid Sam, getting what he deserves now! Soon, soon he'll know my worth, and then he'll be sorry....they'll ALL be sorry!" he yelled frantically. Sam rolled his eyes and then prodded Merry gingerly with his foot.  
  
"Merry, I'm sorry to disturb your little erm.....*gathering* but you really must leave. I'm expecting company."  
  
"Really?" Merry asked uninterestedly.  
  
"Who?" Pippin asked, though the word came out rather muffled seeing as Merry was busy shoving his fingers into some very delicate areas.  
  
"Rosie."  
  
"WHA-?!" Pippin and Merry forgot about making out like it was 1999, and gaped at Sam.  
  
"What would you do that for?" Merry demanded.  
  
"She's my friend." Sam said nonchalantly.  
  
"Yeah, and she's a whore,-- what it's true." Pippin protested angrily when Merry nudged him sharply.  
  
"Hey, don't talk about her like that." Sam said angrily.  
  
"I'll SHOW YOU ALL!" Frodo's screams came from the corner. Merry and Pippin eyed each other uneasily and got up off the floor, where they had been busy groping.  
  
"We'll see ourselves out." Merry said as they quickly scampered out.  
  
Sam sighed and looked towards where Frodo was rocking and eyeing the sofa suspiciously.  
  
This was not the honeymoon he had planned.  
  
***Well, I'll be going back and forth between Aragorn/Legolas, and Frodo/Sam. I really missed Gimli, and since he's dead SOMEBODY had to take his place. Well don't forget to review.*** 


	37. Letters

***Sorry it's been so long...I was on vacation and just got back. I went to Prince Edward Island..and all I could think about was Anne of Green Gables....so it's a relief to write this chapter.....hope you like it***  
  
"Look darling, a letter from Sam and Frodo." Legolas said leisurely from where he sat atop one of the many boxes they had packed when they had decided to move. Everything was already in the new home, except for the few personal belongings they had just brought.  
  
Aragorn looked up from where he was carting a humungous box full of combs.  
  
"Is it really-necessary to bring all these?" Aragorn huffed, as he hefted the weight to his other shoulder. Legolas sighed, and began to play with the baby.  
  
"Really darling, need you ask. After all my hair isn't naturally like this." Legolas said flicking a strand of hair out of his face, then paused, looking at Aragorn and narrowing his eyes mistrustfully, "You haven't told anyone have you?" He asked suspiciously.  
  
Aragorn started to speak but then just shook his head. He shuddered as he thought of the last time he had challenged an issue concerning his husband's hair. Even Galaril had looked at him sympathetically. He put down the box with a sigh of relief and decided to rest a moment.  
  
"Would you like to hear the letter darling?" Legolas asked. Aragorn rolled his eyes, and gave a I-hate-frumpy-and-I-don't-give-a-damn groan, but Legolas began to read anyway.  
  
"Dear Legolas, so far our-"  
  
"Wait a minute." Aragorn interjected.  
  
"What?" Legolas asked angrily.  
  
"If it isn't addressed to me why do I have to listen?" Aragorn asked. Legolas gritted his teeth and continued in a louder voice, ignoring further protests from Aragorn.  
  
"DEAR LEGOLAS, so far our honeymoon has been rather successful considering my new husband has gone absolutely batty. He's become so much like Gimli, always muttering to himself, making creepy advances on strangers, and bursting out in laughter at odd times. The latter he likes to do in the toilet the most. Anyway, I really shouldn't complain, since I got to meet Rosie, and we had an......interesting meeting. We really caught up. Well see you soon and can't wait to show you your presents.  
  
Sam'  
  
"That's the way it is with marriage always complaining." Legolas sighed, and shook his head.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Aragorn demanded, "Poor Frumpy...it's obvious Fatty is screwing the whore."  
  
"Not in front of the baby." Legolas hissed.  
  
"It's still true." Muttered Aragorn but shut up from one evil glare from Legolas.  
  
"Well, I wonder what we can do to help with Frodo?" Legolas wondered aloud. Aragorn shrugged and began to move more boxes.  
  
"I'm sure Sam is just exaggerating."  
  
***Ah the fun has come back into writing.....Sam and Frodo should be returning with more pplz in tow....don't forget to review.*** 


	38. A rather eventful day

*** This is an important chapter so please don't just skip it....or you won't understand the next one. Hope you like it....***  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Except the machete.....that's very much mine...  
  
"Hurry up Aragorn!" Legolas called from the front door. Galaril was beginning to fidget, and Legolas was at his wits ends.  
  
"Coming." Aragorn replied, and came bounding down the stairs with a white box in his hands.  
  
"What is that?" Legolas asked, when Aragorn finally came to a full stop by his feet.  
  
"A machete." Aragorn said nonchalantly and opened the door, "Shall we?"  
  
"You are NOT giving Frodo a machete. Now go put that away." Legolas ordered. Aragorn sighed and pouted adorably.  
  
"You never let me do anything." He said sulkily, but obediently put away the box.  
  
"Let's go now, we have to go meet them, I wanted to go yesterday but I thought they would want to rest." Legolas said as they headed out the door.  
  
"Da-da."  
  
"Aragorn, how many times have I told you? Not outside the bedroom!" Legolas said, not bothering to look up.  
  
"Wasn't me!" Aragorn protested. Legolas sighed, and looked up.  
  
"Who was it then?" he asked sarcastically and froze when Galaril giggled, and said  
  
"Da-da."  
  
"Oh my god.......oh my god.......Aragorn, he just spoke!" Legolas said excitedly, and began to smother a very satisfied Galaril with kisses.  
  
"Is that right.....you think you know a person.....now let's get going." Aragorn said, suppressing a yawn.  
  
"Aren't you excited?" Legolas asked in-between kisses.  
  
"About what?" Aragorn asked distractedly.  
  
"OUR SON JUST SAID HIS FIRST WORD!" Legolas yelled. Aragorn flinched, but then the realization hit him.  
  
"OH my god.......MY son...My son! Why didn't you tell me before?" demanded Aragorn. Legolas sighed and shook his head.  
  
"I can't believe how big he's gotten." Legolas said, with a hint of sadness in his voice.  
  
"This is a proud day for both our kingdoms I suppose." Aragorn said smiling. Legolas nodded then thought of something.  
  
"Aragorn?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Who's taking care of Gondor while we're here?" Legolas asked, he of course, didn't have to worry as his father was still very much alive.  
  
"I dunno....WAIT.....FOR THE LOVE OF GRACE! No one! We have to go back!"  
  
***Yeah, I know...just when you were getting used to these settings I go and move you...but I was getting a bit bored.....and there are s very many interesting ppl in Gondor....and it's not like they're leaving right away...anyway don't forget to review.*** 


	39. What happened

***Sorry I know it's been awhile but I've been very busy. The chapter isn't long but I promise I'll get a good one up soon***  
  
DISCLAIMER: Nothing, nada, nientay....none of this is mine...but if you'd like to buy Orlando Bloom I do believe he's going to be sold on Ebay.  
  
"You are such an idiot." Legolas sighed. He was getting his nails and hair done while Galaril was being watched by his nanny.  
  
"So I'm a bit forgetful.....what's the big deal?" Aragorn protested through a mouthful of pie.  
  
"Forgetful is the understatement of the year." Legolas said, but not in a mean way, he was way too relaxed for that. "Despite my insistent protests that Faromir is the steward of Gondor and he was here to take care of things you dragged us here- right after we moved into our new home."  
  
"Well we can move back and forth during holidays." Aragorn said while studying a drawing of what looked like an extremely happy potato. "What is this?"  
  
"It's supposed to be you." Legolas said, unable to suppress a very un-elf like giggle.  
  
Aragorn narrowed his eyes and turned the picture around a few times.  
  
"It doesn't look anything like me...or any other living creature for that matter."  
  
"Galaril drew it."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"That doesn't automatically make it a perfect drawing Aragorn. You can accept the fact that it looks like nothing." Legolas said serenely.  
  
"I never said it wasn't nice. It's......special."  
  
"Yeah......special." snorted Legolas rather indelicately.  
  
"Well it's not that hideous."  
  
"Oh that reminds me," Legolas said, "Eowyn is coming for a visit. Or should I say your former whore?"  
  
***I know I know it's a crappy ending but I'm tired and am out of practice. Remember to review and hope you liked the chapter.*** 


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